When members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints receive their “call” to serve a mission, it is a milestone moment, a rite of passage for the prospective proselytizers and a cause for celebration in the faith.

These missionaries-in-waiting are often excited at the prospect of venturing to a strange land, perhaps learning a new language, and meeting and sharing their religion with others.

During their missions, these young adults follow not only the faith’s overall teachings but also strict, albeit temporary, rules not adhered to by regular members. They typically arise at 6:30 every morning and return to their apartments by 9 at night. They don’t date. They can’t watch television. And they must stay with their assigned mission companion at all times. They spend most of their time teaching and studying scriptures.

Even amid these rigid and rigorous routines, the hardest part for many missionaries comes later — at home.

After their volunteer stints (two years for young men; 18 months for young women), they frequently find that adjusting to a less-structured, more-normal life can be challenging.

To help remedy this, the church launched the program My Plan For Returned Missionaries in 2015 for missionaries to complete during and after their service.

General authority Seventy Mark D. Eddy told The Salt Lake Tribune that the program was designed to assist missionaries in navigating “what can be a rocky transition home.”

My Plan For Returned Missionaries — more commonly referred to simply as My Plan — is an online interactive portal with eight video segments, each focusing on a different aspect of a former missionary’s life and plan for the future. These lessons include reflective videos with topics ranging from self-reliance and planning an education to setting spiritual goals and anticipating dating and marriage.

Some lessons can be taken at different points during a mission, but most are completed on missionaries’ own time during their final “transfer” — typically a six-week period at the end of their service.

Eddy, a former mission president in Uruguay, explained that while serving a mission, young Latter-day Saints can be so focused on turning outward that they may hesitate to think about their own lives and goals.

“It sort of provides them license,” he said, “to begin to think about some of those things that are going to happen after the mission.”

‘It’s a continual process’

Grace Dyer, a former missionary living in Virginia, said the program proved a lifesaver.

While on her mission in Lithuania, Dyer’s parents divorced, leaving her feeling uncertain about the prospect of returning home to a “new family unit.”

In her final six weeks, Dyer started working on My Plan and said she found that it was a good time for her to contemplate how she wanted to respond to life’s challenges. During one lesson, she set a goal to focus on her loved ones and build those relationships to create a new family dynamic.

“I’m still trying to put more effort into my family and figure out what that looks like for me,” Dyer said. “It’s a continual process, but My Plan was definitely the beginning of that process, and even that healing process for me.”

At times, My Plan functions similar to a journal or a Sunday school worksheet as missionaries reflect, record and write down goals for the near future. They read inspirational talks from church leaders and watch videos about the experiences of former missionaries adjusting to life at home. Missionaries working on My Plan are given an allotted time, dictated by their mission president, to ponder how best to approach their return home.

Although My Plan may not provide the same experience for everyone, Dyer said, she advised missionaries to “make the best of it.”

Questions on dating and marriage

Not all goals and plans are given the same level of urgency.

In an earlier version of My Plan — which is no longer used — the booklet lists dating and marriage as the “highest-priority goal.”

“Of all your goals, a marriage sealed in the temple should be of highest priority,” the booklet states. “As you turn to worthy personal pursuits, such as education and career goals, it may be easy to let other priorities get in the way. Marriage provides opportunities for personal and spiritual growth that are not available any other way.”

This echoes the words of church President Dallin H. Oaks, who has repeatedly encouraged Latter-day Saints not to delay marriage and child-rearing.

“Marriage is central to the purpose of mortal life and what follows,” Oaks said in a worldwide devotional in 2023. “We are children of a loving Heavenly Father who created us with the capacity to follow his commandment to multiply and replenish the Earth.”

Earlier this year, Oaks said he hoped that lowering the minimum missionary age for women to age 18 (as it is for men) will spur these members to marry earlier.

That is “part of the Lord’s plan to overcome the tendency of waiting until the late 20s to have a first marriage,” he said. “I think we will see a reduction in the age of marriages for Latter-day Saints.”

The “marry younger” message, however, doesn’t always sit well.

Ligia Nelson, an international student at BYU from Guatemala, said this kind of romantic pressure can detract from the purpose of My Plan.

Before her mission to Brazil, Nelson had already been studying in college, and had education and career goals in mind. When she began My Plan in her final weeks of her mission, Nelson said, she felt disconnected, especially since missionaries are prohibited from dating during their service.

These lessons, she said, asked what her dating goals were, if she was preparing for marriage and how often she wanted to go on dates. Nelson said she wishes the church would change the approach to this topic because the path to the altar is not the same for everyone.

“It’s kind of hard to plan around romantic life,” Nelson said. “I feel like in that aspect there are lots of things that you cannot control.”

Eddy pointed out that My Plan is a resource for missionaries to guide their planning and not a rule book. He said that missionary timelines may differ, and some view marriage as a more urgent priority.

“We provide resources as a church to all members,” he said. “The different courses, book prints and instructions that we provide, they are written broadly enough to capture people in different phases of their lives — more helpful to some and other sections that might feel like they’re less helpful or less timely to others.”

His advice for missionaries returning home: Look forward to the future, and don’t fear that a mission is the “spiritual apex” of life.

“It is just the beginning,” Eddy said. “The experiences that we have in the mission field really represent the merciful and loving and kind training of our Heavenly Father and our Savior, Jesus Christ, to prepare us for higher and holier things to come.”

Follow-up goes lacking

My Plan is not intended to end when missions do. In addition to meeting with their local church leaders, the returning “elders” and “sisters” are assigned a “mentor” to lend their support and follow up on the goals.

BYU senior Atticus Morgan, who served a mission in Indiana, said that while he appreciated being given the time to plan for the future while on his mission, more often than not the goals went forgotten at home — even by their church leaders.

“It’s difficult because there’s no way for My Plan, as a program, to follow up with you after you’re home. It’s not really something that you continue to work on,” he said. “I feel like it’s more for people to process the end of their mission rather than the beginning of their time at home.”

When missionaries begin their service, they receive a temporary Google account that is typically deleted 60 to 90 days after returning home. The online lessons from My Plan are attached to this missionary account and are then accessible only by the church after the account is wiped.

Unless returning missionaries personally download their plans, they are permanently deleted.

After he returned home, Morgan said no one ever followed up with him and that real life took hold. His former goals and plans were deleted and eventually forgotten.

He said he hopes that in the future there will be an update allowing former missionaries to access their account in some digital fashion.

The church, Eddy explained, is aware of this concern.

“Know that we’re in the process of iterating on My Plan to see if we can find a solution for some of those challenges,” he said, “and make some improvements.”

Note to readers • Dylan Eubank is a Report for America corps member covering faith for The Salt Lake Tribune. Your donation to match our RFA grant helps keep him writing stories.