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On ‘Real Housewives of SLC, Heather doesn’t know or won’t say who gave her a black eye

Whitney has a theory about who did it.

In the latest episode of “The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City,” Heather Gay wakes up from a night of drunken partying with a black eye and scratches and bruises on her arm and back. How did she get them? At times, she claimed she doesn’t know. At other times, she strongly implies that she does.

Among her comments:

“I don’t want to get anyone in trouble ... That’s why I need you to help me figure out if someone wants to talk about what really happened last night. We need to a cover story.”

“We’re not sure what happened last night, but we know things got a little rough. … I think we all know what happened. I just think we don’t want to talk about it.”

“Just respect that I don’t want to talk about it now. We’ll talk about it later. And it’s nothing you should worry about. I got it handled.”

A producer says to Heather, “You don’t remember how [the black eye] happened?” Heather replies, “I didn’t say I don’t remember how it happened. I just said I’m not talking about it.” Except that she did actually say that multiple times.

“If anyone does, like, a secret knock on your door — don’t answer. To be fair, I am still unclear on exactly what happened with my eye.”

(Fred Hayes/Bravo) Whitney Rose and Heather Gay on "The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City."

Whitney Rose has a theory • “Honestly, if someone hit her, I would think it was Jen. We all know how toxic their friendship is.” She points out that both Heather and Jen were highly intoxicated, and asks, “What if Heather ticked off Jen and Jen hit her? But why is Heather covering it up? Does she think this is going to be bad for her trial?”

(Jen, facing federal fraud charges, has since pleaded guilty. After multiple postponements, she’s scheduled to be sentenced on Jan. 6.)

The truce is over • Ex-BFFs Meredith and Lisa are once again at war. Meredith has gotten ahold of an SEC filing that Lisa was crowdfunding for one of her businesses, which Meredith incorrectly asserts means that there’s trouble with Vida Tequila and Lisa must be broke. She admits she’s weaponizing that false information to get back at Lisa for the Season 2 hot-mic rant in which Lisa accused Meredith of having sex with “half of New York,” among other things.

Lisa refers to her outburst as a “rant”; Meredith insists it was a “tirade.” Meredith is clearly unaware the two words are synonyms.

(Fred Hayes/Bravo) Meredith Marks and Lisa Barlow on "The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City."

Meredith is furious that Lisa said she called her mentally ill: “That is extraordinarily disgusting to say that I said that, because I did not.” Except that she did say that, more or less. Two months earlier, she said to Lisa, “If you think that this is normal behavior and you don’t want to get help and make changes, then there is no more I can do for you. If you think that you should be getting some help, I’m happy to help you.” Meredith’s obvious insinuation was that Lisa needed some kind of counseling.

For the full recap, go to sltrib.com.

Bravo is giving the Housewives a break next week. The next episode of “The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City” airs Wednesday, Jan. 4, on Bravo — 6 p.m. on Dish and DirecTV; 9 p.m. on Comcast. Previous episodes can be streamed via Peacock or on demand.