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Inside Voices: Utahns share advice on defusing stressful political conversations

Plus, ‘an opportunity to be stone catchers rather than stone throwers.’

(Francisco Kjolseth | The Salt Lake Tribune) Republican Utah Gov. Spencer Cox, who is running for reelection, debates Democratic challenger state Rep. Brian King and Libertarian opponent Robert Latham at Salt Lake Community College on Wednesday, Sept. 11, 2024.

Happy Saturday, and welcome to Inside Voices, a weekly newsletter that features a collection of ideas, perspectives and solutions from across Utah — without any of the vitriol or yelling that’s become all too common on other platforms. Subscribe here.

Another election season has arrived — and, with it, plenty of discourse. For some of us, differing political views can put strain on personal relationships. I asked Tribune readers what you’ve found helpful to depolarizing politics among your friends and family.

Here’s what you shared:

For some, politics are simply off the table.

“Politics, like religion, are personal for some people. If their political views are different from mine, I refrain from talking about politics to them. There is a whole world of topics to talk about other than politics.” — John, North Salt Lake

“Unfortunately, it does not seem that anything other than never talking about it works.” — Norman, Sandy

Others come prepared to find common ground.

“Generally, I avoid talking to my family and friends about topics I know are divisive. However, if I find myself discussing a divisive issue, I try to find common ground and point the conversation towards finding a solution.” — Shawn, Roy

And a few Utahns have tips on how to have the conversation while minimizing risk.

“Be curious, but not judgmental, about other’s perspectives and how they came to see issues that way.” — Dan, Provo

“Before starting a conversation, ascertain that the other party is interested in gaining a better understanding of all aspects regarding whatever issue is going to be discussed. Get agreement on the ground rules:

  • This will be a fact-based discussion for enlightenment.
  • We are not here to just argue.
  • No one yells.
  • No one interrupts another.
  • Before speaking, ask to make certain the other person feels they have finished expressing their viewpoint on a specific subject, then restate what you have heard them say and ask if you understand their view accurately or if they need to add clarification.
  • Be patient. Be calm. Speak softly.
  • Use verifiable facts.
  • Find areas of agreement.
  • Express respect for the other’s point of view.
  • Do not get into the personality issues of candidates unless they are essential to the discussion and inherent to the context.

    • The goal is to better understand the issues and leave as friends.” — Grant, North Ogden

    “Try to emphasize and focus on areas where we agree. I try to ground our discussion more on the enduring values and principles that we all support: Freedom, checks and balances, rule of law, separation of powers, constitutional guidance. We will often find areas of disagreement about what each of these things entail but when we discuss these broader institutions and foundations of our liberty and prosperity, we can avoid most of the contentious issues. I’m a Republican from a Republican family and even though the dominant personality in the party is repugnant — and his version of Republicanism is detestable by most of us — we avoid him and his followers in our discussions and focus on the ‘higher angel’ topics.” — Kevin, Provo

    As we approach the election, I’m curious: Is there a difference in the trust you have for local elections and processes compared to other districts, state elections or national elections? What could inspire more trust in local election practices for you? Let us know.

    Utah Voices

    (University of Utah Health, The New York Times, The Salt Lake Tribune) From left to right: A health care worker attends to a patient in the intensive care unit at University Hospital in Salt Lake City. Migrants from Venezuela walk along the Rio Grande looking for a place to cross the border into the U.S. in Ciudad Juarez, Mexico. Former President Donald Trump speaks as Vice President Kamala Harris looks on during the presidential debate at the National Constitution Center in Philadelphia. Poll workers assist voters at Trolley Square in Salt Lake City during primary Election Day 2022.

    The following excerpts come from op-eds recently published in The Tribune.

    Immigration

  • HB261 “is likely to have adverse effects on immigrant health outcomes by diminishing diversity in Utah’s healthcare workforce,” writes Magali de Sauvage, a medical student at the University of Utah. Read more.
  • “Utahns must not let the increasingly hostile dialogue of national politics poison their historic attitude of welcoming immigrants to our state,” writes The Salt Lake Tribune editorial board. Read more.
  • “Having fled Venezuela six years ago to escape a totalitarian regime, I understand the anguish and uncertainty of living without legal status,” writes Gabrielle Pacheco, a political science student at Salt Lake Community College. Read more.
  • “Latter-day Saints, with their own saga of exclusion, along with other Americans, have an opportunity to be stone catchers rather than stone throwers and thereby shape a brighter future out of the lessons of the past,” writes W. Paul Reeve. Read more.

    • Voting

  • “How difficult will it be to change outsiders’ perspective of the Beehive State? This presidential election offers a unique opportunity,” writes Joyce Kinkead, Distinguished Professor Emeritus at Utah State University. Read more.
  • “Republicans and Democrats alike may skip voting, thinking their votes either aren’t needed or that they don’t matter. Nothing could be further from the truth,” writes Amy Eskind, author of “Vote! A Guide for Young Adults.” Read more.

    • Share Your Perspective

    (Smith Entertainment Group) A rendering of a renovated entrance to the Delta Center.

    Salt Lake City City Council members voted 6-0 this week to give their final approval to Jazz owner Ryan Smith’s proposed sports hub. They also authorized a half-a-percentage-point sales tax increase, which will funnel $900 million into the district.

    I want to know what you think: Tell me about your hopes for — or concerns about — efforts to revitalize Utah’s capital city.

    From Bagley’s Desk

    Stop the Squeal! | Pat Bagley

    I’m always looking for unique perspectives, ideas and solutions that move our state forward. Learn more about our guidelines for an op-ed, guest essay, letter to the editor and more here, and drop me a note at voices@sltrib.com.