Natalie Vowell: A letter to Utah drivers. Love, someone with road rage

Imagine. You are stuck in traffic, moving one inch at a time, creeping forward toward a stoplight that has just turned red. Again.

You wait for what feels like an eternity. Then, the light switches to green. The cars ahead start moving one by one, inching through the intersection. The lights turn yellow, signaling you to slow down, but you realize that there is just enough time for you to make it through. You move your foot to the gas and – NO! A white minivan cuts you off and surges across the intersection in front of you just as the light turns red.

You are left waiting at the light. Again. Where are you? Probably somewhere along State Street in Salt Lake City, Utah.

We’ve all been there, stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic, getting more irritated by the minute as driver after incompetent driver zooms by without consideration for anyone else on the road. It’s frustrating. Sometimes, it’s downright infuriating.

I remember my first day arriving in Utah to start my time as a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. A couple of other missionaries took a group of us on a tour of the city. I can count at least three times that we were almost hit. And that was just my first day. Over time (after seeing way too many close calls), I became convinced that Utah has the worst drivers in the country.

But, you ask, where is the proof? It’s pretty presumptuous to claim that Utah drivers are not only bad, but actually the worst in the nation. California has quite the reputation, after all. How are you supposed to know if Utah drivers really take the cake?

At the end of 2022, Quote Wizard, an insurance company, posted its ratings of the states with the worst drivers. Utah came in first. The numbers don’t lie.

While California was a close second, Quote Wizard’s report says that “Utah drivers have been headed the wrong way for years.” They analyzed more than 10 million insurance quotes, focusing their research on four different categories: accidents, speeding tickets, DUIs and citations. The study reports, “Utah drivers took over the top spot by ranking high in every dangerous driving category.” Utah made the top 10 in each of the four groups: first in speeding, second in citations, fifth in accidents and eighth in DUIs.

So, what is being done about this obvious deficiency in the quality of driving? Utah currently offers defensive-driving classes to “improve driving skills, [and] reduce points from your driving record.” While clearing a bad record sounds great, keeping people safe should be our main priority.

Starting now, we, the most statistically incompetent, detestably idiotic drivers of the nation, need to individually commit to cleaning up our act. So, next time you’re speeding down the highway in your white minivan running late for your sixth kid’s soccer practice, at least use your blinker.

Natalie Vowell is a student at Brigham Young University pursuing a bachelor of science degree in political science.