An open letter to Elder Jeffrey Holland,
I am an educator at a few of our institutions in Utah. I teach sociology and communications. I have four darling children. I am an active member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I am sick over the continual blows my spiritual leaders are throwing at us. Your recent speech at Brigham Young University was shocking.
I, too, spend time on my knees asking these hard questions. How can it be true that all of God’s children are loved and embraced in his word, except of course, those who “act” on the sexual orientation they were born with? I have cried and begged to understand how being gay — and living a happy, romantic life, just as you or I do — could be a sin? And after years of coming up with nothing, I began to pray and ask if it indeed was not a sin, and we had it all wrong?
My heart changed; the answers poured in. Everything on the topic of loving others comes from Jesus Christ’s teachings, everything that is required to be a true disciple is laid out there.
He never taught to exclude homosexuals from eternal happiness, from the beautiful covenants we receive as a family in Christ, from the ordinances in the temple or from experiencing a life of love and companionship. The teachings of men intermixed with scripture have proven to be catastrophic for the marginalized time and time again. We cannot continue down this path.
Mocking someone for sharing an extreme hardship they endured in their life and how they overcame it was especially shocking. That student’s approved speech was not only beautiful, but it was also in step with the speaking style for that format. Sharing personal experiences — hardships, triumphs, lessons learned and challenging graduates to stand up in this world and feel empowered — is all on point. The problem here can only be that you are uncomfortable because of the content. That is a shame.
If you want an educational institution that is a pillar in the world of academia, a light of truth, a Zion, as you say, then I will use your figurative musket and fire back by saying, you cannot accomplish that like this. How do you possibly think you could? How could it be that hunting down gays, encouraging students to turn on each other, kicking out young adults who in many cases are already suicidal, treating them as less than worthy, less than descent, using symbols of war and weaponry, belittling the brave efforts students engage in to try desperately to be heard and understood; how do you think this is a school of Zion?
God’s Zion is inclusive. He knows the value of homosexual couples in nature and sees what that dynamic brings to societies. He knows there is a place in science for this. He knows there is a place in paradise for them. He knows that the grotesque narrative that gay couples are an assault on families is absolute lunacy. He knows that his kingdom doesn’t just have room for them but also has a need for them. He knows that they are unique and special and bring a talent set to society that cannot be replicated. He sees the value of his children as they are, as he made them. And I believe he is growing heartsick at how disturbingly slow we are at getting this right.
Elder Holland, you are my favorite. I love you. And you are breaking my heart. You all have got to get this right. Harming people, leading people to suicide, excluding children of God, it is wrong. This is not Zion.
I, too, will go to my grave praying and pleading, but my prayers are slightly different. I pray that instead of my leaders lamenting how often they have cried and asked God to change things or somehow make it easier for gay people to feel OK about their exclusion, that they will pray instead for God to change their hearts. Your heart. Until then, you can keep your musket, I will stick with my flag.
In faith,
Monique Derr
Monique Derr
Monique Derr, Highland, holds a Ph.D. in human science and transformative social change, a master’s degree in journalism, is a thespian in her free time and lives in Utah County with her husband and four children.