We are heading into the home stretch of what will certainly be a contentious election cycle. We will hear yelling, insults and, quite frankly, an embarrassing exhibition of our democratic process.
Can we tone down the rhetoric so we have a more informed national and local debate?
These thoughts are independent of the current discussions on racial injustice, which I am proud to observe have broad positive consensus. This is aimed at the tired, internecine warfare between left and right.
Each of us has a responsibility to change the atmosphere, and our own behavior.
One problem we face is that we are too quick to assume what others think and we can be very wrong.
When my conservative friends find that I support school lunch programs, I hear about creating a “culture of dependency.” No, I just like the thought of one less child crying herself to sleep tonight.
When my liberal friends find I am pro-life, they say, “But you don’t care about children after they are born.” No, please see previous paragraph.
These assumptions come from our Survivor/Voice/Bachelor culture of declaring for a team. I guess you must be Team Rachel or Team Rush. I think we can be more nuanced but it takes a conscious, disciplined desire. It is easy to watch one show and let that entertainer do our thinking for us.
We have gotten to the point where we are all screaming and but none are being heard. As the modern American philosopher Colin Cowherd says, “Just because you’re loudest, doesn’t mean you’re right.”
We also hesitate to be the first to go quiet. “Well, the MAGA hat guy said this”, or “the leftist anarchist said that.”
As Sally Kohn points out in her book, “The Opposite of Hate,” we all think that others’ hate comes from some dark, evil place, but our own hate is just a noble response to that evil. Nope, hate is hate and we must take ownership.
By the way, the “he-said-it-first” defense lost its caché when we transitioned to middle school.
I am not asking anyone to lose their passion about causes they believe in. What I am asking is that you don’t lose yourself in the process.
If, like me, you do not want to go deaf over the next four months, I offer the following recommendations:
Expand your informational circle. If you always watch FOX, watch MSNBC for a week. If you are usually watch MSNBC, watch FOX. Listen to their arguments with respect, reflect on what you hear and, maybe, get an appreciation for different points of view.
Fight the immediate reaction to re-transmit every article that conforms with your worldview or makes those with whom you disagree look bad. Your friends/followers agree with you already and the idea will bounce around your echo chamber but to what end? And honestly, have you ever changed your own mind based on something that someone you disagreed with posted on social media? Everything you read does not require immediate action on your part.
Read a book. The thoughtfulness required in writing a book requires much more insight than that which can be thumb-typed in 280 characters. If looking for a recommendation, I suggest Sally Kohn's "The Opposite of Hate" referenced above. Read it first. Read it now.
Finally, maybe we could just be a little more merciful, a little more kind. This is hard but probably most impactful. For those, like me, who identify as Christians, you know that fundamental to our faith is to “love your enemies.” That author didn’t allow for exceptions. It’s difficult and I’m no saint, but shouldn’t we try?
The anonymity of social media allows us to say things we would never say in a room full of people. We need to have our actions, actual and virtual, match our values.
As we approach this year’s elections, let’s treat everyone with respect, share our views thoughtfully, and for the love of all that is good, PLEASE STOP SCREAMING!
Richard Longo
Richard Longo is a retired Army officer living in the Park City area.