In Utah and across this country, reproductive rights are being discussed and debated. However, surprisingly, one crucial component is totally missing from these discussions: the penis.
Just think about it, if we could gain control of the penis, there would be no need for abortions. Why haven’t we seen this? I guess it hasn’t exactly been hiding in plain sight.
Currently, especially here in Utah, it looks likely a woman’s right to choose will be going away. Therefore, now is the time to enact a law that will control this thing that is creating undue hardship on many members of our country. I am proposing that we enact the PRA (Penis Responsibility Act).
The PRA would:
• Make it illegal for the “PO” — or penis owner — to have unprotected sex unless he has obtained written permission (that must be notarized) from his sex partner. No exceptions, not even if the PO was enticed or seduced.
• Make condoms readily available for free: in schools, businesses, sports arenas, sports bars, restaurants, gas stations, farm supply stores, bowling alleys, hardware stores, shooting ranges, gyms, concert venues, auto supply stores, etc.
• Ensure that, if a PO does cause an unintended pregnancy, the owner of said penis shall be required to wear a visible sign that states he has caused a pregnancy. This could be in the form of a large badge, or maybe a T-shirt. This will help create empathy for the pregnant person, and also serve as a warning to other women. Also, the PO shall be required to get a vasectomy as to prevent further offenses.
• Require POs who are also elected officials to recuse themselves from all legislation related to reproduction, as this is an obvious conflict of interest. Because POs cannot become pregnant, they cannot truly understand the health risks, both physical and emotional, of carrying a pregnancy to term, and also the life altering economic ramifications.
• Put strong legislation in place called the “Post-Birth Pro-Life” bill. This will guarantee healthy food, safe shelter, a clean and healthy environment, quality health care and a quality education, including four years of college, for every child; indeed, every human. Of course, we always hope that the PO who created the pregnancy will provide all of these things, but because our government is making it mandatory that these unintended pregnancies are brought to term, we must also make it mandatory that the resulting children are guaranteed these crucial life supports.
• Place a 1,000% tax on Viagra. This will act as a deterrent from older POs inadvertently causing pregnancies.
• Require young POs to be taught, from a very early age, to be responsible owners and be taught how not to cause pregnancy, sexual assault or any undue trauma or stress. There shall be extensive education, from an early age, to help the PO fulfill this requirement.
It’s past time to pay attention to the supply side of the reproductive issue and enact a law that will serve to counteract all the stress and pain caused by the lack of reproductive rights for the women in this country.
Who knows, if a law like the PRA had been in place 100 years ago, all the women who were left to contend with the negative consequences of unintended pregnancy, either wouldn’t have gotten pregnant in the first place or would have had the support they so badly needed.
Elaine Nielson
Elaine Nielson, Millcreek, is a life long citizen of Utah, a business owner and a long time activist