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Letter: There are ways out of Utah

(Trent Nelson | The Salt Lake Tribune) A sign along I-80 reads, "Aggressive is OK for handwashing not driving," in Salt Lake City on Monday, April 6, 2020.

Dear Ivan Weber,

Regarding your written public confession of a 50-year colossal error in personal judgment (“After 50 years in Utah, all I can say is, ‘My mistake,’” Tribune, May 2) may I offer a workable remedy?

For your immediate benefit there exist two interstate highways exiting Utah in all four compass directions. They are open 24/7 and will provide you a means of swift, stealth departure from your torturous experiences amongst the True Believer population of Utah.

As an alternative, several airlines offer dozens of daily departures from your purgatory, all of them traveling at near supersonic speed, making it possible for you to quickly distance yourself from the dread of your living Utah hell.

But where will you go? Perhaps by now the misgivings of your previous home in John Birch Kansas aren't looking all that bad and, with a passel of hard-learned lessons under your belt from your miserable Utah experience, you can return to your not-so-thrilling days of yesteryear thinking, "We're back in Kansas, Toto."

Good for you. Good for Utah.

Richard Ewing Davis, Stansbury Park

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