Note to readers • This article discusses suicide. If you or people you know are at risk of self-harm, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline for 24-hour support.

I was 17 years old and three months away from graduating high school when I came home from school and saw my mom in tears. She told me she had just been made aware that she had three days to pack up her things and leave.

Within those three days, we had to cut our lease, pack up everything from our apartment and find living arrangements for my siblings and me because we weren’t leaving with her. I was confused, scared and really angry. My family had just been split apart. I wasn’t going to have my mom there to watch me graduate or help me with college.

At the airport, I was the first to hug my mom goodbye and the last, until an Immigrations and Customs Enforcement agent ripped my mom from my arms. I remember her sobs echoing through the airport as they walked her through security. I stayed frozen in place until I could no longer see her.

I am 27 now. Ten years later, it still haunts me.

People often think there is a “right” way to come into this country or a “right” way to live here. My mom had a green card, had a work visa, paid taxes and had a Social Security number. She came to this country because the United States screams from the rooftops its promises of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. People think deportation is the consequence of one’s own actions but, really, it is a reflection of the broken system we live in.

Deportation is not only an immigration or legal issue; it is a mental health issue, as well. Millions of children in the U.S. live with at least one undocumented parent, meaning my family is far from the only one affected by the threat of family separation.

After my mom was deported, I experienced panic attacks, insomnia, catastrophic thinking, anxiety about everything and hopelessness. I became very angry and reactive. I could hardly function. I felt like a shell of a person. Broken. Eventually, I spent about a week at a mental health inpatient facility after I was admitted for attempting suicide. My experience is not isolated.

Research on U.S. citizen adolescents found that parental deportation was associated with higher levels of anxiety and depressive symptoms. Ten years later, I still struggle with the aftermath. I fear that everyone is going to leave, that I am going to be alone, that I won’t have help or security, and that I am going to have to fend for myself.

Research shows that deportation and family separation can affect children’s economic stability, housing, education, mental health and family relationships. I saw first hand that the consequences were not only psychological. We lost my mom’s income, childcare for my siblings, our housing, health insurance and our only parental figure. My siblings changed schools, and we no longer lived together. As the oldest, I took on responsibilities I never expected to have. I couldn’t just focus on going to school or saving money for college because I was dealing with the consequences of my mother being gone.

Families deserve stronger protections. ICE currently has a policy for parents and legal guardians who are detained or deported, but the protections in the 2025 policy are weaker than they were before. The Women’s Refugee Commission also explains that many of these protections are “not binding on ICE.” This means that, even though there are protections that can help parents make decisions about their children, participate in child welfare proceedings, visit their children and make arrangements for them before being deported, ICE is not always required to follow them.

I don’t think protections for families should be something that ICE can choose whether or not to follow. Congress has the ability to make these protections stronger. The Center for Law and Social Policy recommends that Congress make these protections into law, including considering the release of parents and legal guardians so they can continue taking care of their children and holding ICE accountable for following these protections.

I want families to remain together. When separation does happen, children need mental health support, and families need opportunities to prepare. My family just wanted the opportunity to feel safe, secure and loved like everyone else. I am a living example of how a broken system can break an individual. If we really want to protect children, separating them from their caregivers is not the answer. Put yourself in the shoes of a child whose parent was forced to leave them behind.

Sherry Padron is a student at the University of Utah. AI was used to fix grammar and punctuation. She used AI for a final proofread of her commentary. The words and ideas are their own.

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