As a former member of the LDS Church, and a current ordained minister in The Church of The Flying Spaghetti Monster, I can truly appreciate the article in the Nov. 25 Tribune regarding The Church of The State of Utah Legislature and The Church of the Utah Republican Party (“The Lord’s name: Can Latter-day Saints abide it?”).
The Saints, under the inspired command of the Lord through President Russell Nelson, I believe are in effect joining the scores of churches that represent Christendom by demanding that its members no longer use the shortened versions of their name, as such nicknames provide a major victory for Satan.
We view this as a step in the right direction. They are throwing in with those churches that practice as they do: homophobia, racism, misogamy, politics and a general dislike for other religions. As we say, "R'Amen" to that. They are coming out, so to speak.
As you probably know, we members of The Church of The Flying Spaghetti Monster are also known as FSM or Pastafarians throughout the world, or on my block. We have no dogmas except the rejection of dogmas, we truly believe that His Noodliness boiled for our sins and we reject no one based on color, race, land of origin, sex, religious beliefs (unless of course they hate other religions), political party or nicknames.
We proudly wear colanders to denote our faith and often dress as pirates while we sermonize. All we ask is to be granted the respect, privileges and honors due a person of the cloth, not unlike the demands of the Mormon church. Skipping the colanders and pirate garb, of course. We tried white shirts, name tags and ugly ties, but were very often mistaken for used-car salesmen.
So, you devoted members of the LDS faith, keep on keeping on. Women, don't use those darn social media outlets. Bishops, keep on asking inappropriate personal questions of kids. Support the church's financial investments by using the brands of opioids in their portfolios, shun your homosexual kids and, for heaven’s sake, believe that a layman president of a church, chosen by a bunch of old white men, receives divine revelations from Jesus.
Roger Strand
Roger Strand is a Utah native, retired businessman and world traveler who came back to Utah and has lived in Park City for the past 25 years.