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Rolly: Utah may finally dump its porn czar, but don’t fret, late-night comics, the Legislature will provide more punchlines

Francisco Kjolseth | The Salt Lake Tribune Paul Rolly.

The Utah Legislature is finally getting around to repealing that embarrassing law passed in 2000 that created an “obscenity and pornography complaints ombudsman,” commonly called a porn czar, that generated international jokes and razzing.

Rep. Mike McKell, R-Spanish Fork, is sponsoring HB50, which will erase the position from the state’s law books. (The post hasn’t been funded since 2003.)

When Utah became the only state to have an official “porn czar,” late-night comedians and international publications had fun teasing the Beehive State, already suffering from a reputation for provincial prudishness.

The position became part of the Utah Attorney General’s Office. It was supposed to take complaints from the public and develop policy positions to fight pornography.

A Washington Post story told how the porn czar was called on by residents to “persuade supermarkets to display racy magazines at adult-eye level, intercept a Victoria’s Secret catalog from a family’s mailbox, remove R-rated videos from public libraries, forbid the display of unclothed mannequins at department stores and outlaw strip clubs.”

When the Attorney General’s Office had to cut its budget in 2003, the porn czar joined the tally of items no longer funded. The post has not been filled since, but it has remained on the books.

While the Legislature is dealing with that embarrassing chapter, some Utah lawmakers are busy ensuring the state remains in the crosshairs of national commentators and news outlets looking for comic relief.

Let’s face it: For a state with a relatively small population, Utah holds its own when it comes to legislative ideas that make the rest of the nation laugh.

Rep. Norm Thurston, R-Provo, who put Utah on the national radar last year by successfully sponsoring a bill that lowers the legal blood alcohol content limit for drivers from 0.08 to 0.05, the strictest DUI law in the nation, now wants to tweak the law so that those whose alcohol intake prohibits them from driving can still shoot someone in self-defense.

Thurston has not yet introduced that legislation for the 2018 session, but he told the Deseret News last month he is considering such a proposal.

Currently, carrying a firearm while over the blood alcohol limit is a misdemeanor. Because of Thurston’s bill, that limit would drop to 0.05.

“We’re looking at modifying it to say that there is an overriding feature that if you are using that dangerous weapon to defend yourself, or your home, or a family member, or another person, [then] that’s justifiable,” Thurston told the Deseret News, “that even if you’ve been drinking, you still have the right to defend yourself.”

So the premise is that at 0.05, you are too impaired to drive a car but you still have the judgment to decide when to pull a trigger.

In 2015, Thurston sponsored a measure that would have taken away the prohibition of carrying a concealed weapon on a bus or light rail train. It passed the House but died in the Senate.

Had that passed, along with the Utah County lawmaker’s newest proposal, a drunken person could get on a bus or TRAX carrying a firearm.

What could possibly go wrong?

Another doozy this year is HB135, sponsored by Rep. Mike Noel, R-Kanab.

Among other features, the bill would require cities exceeding 100,000 residents to provide a “highway” for driving cattle, as well as sheep, hogs and horses, through town.

I’m sure you’ve noticed all the cattle grazing that occurs in Salt Lake City that creates a need for such a provision.

If it passes, how about we designate State Street? After all, there isn’t enough traffic congestion fouling the air already.

Past bills contributing to Utah’s colorful history of national embarrassment include the resolution from Sen. Todd Weiler, R-Woods Cross, two years ago declaring pornography a public health crisis.

Then there was the proposal last year by Rep. Ken Ivory, R-West Jordan, that would allow Utah to pay its bills with gold and silver. That was sent to a study committee.

So buckle up for this year’s legislative session. Who knows what our esteemed lawmakers have in store that could provide a punchline for Jimmy Fallon or Stephen Colbert?