Dear Ann Cannon • My wife purchased a couple’s tarot reading for our anniversary. Personally, I think it’s ridiculous. I also find that I’m uncomfortable with it from my religious upbringing. However, she’s so excited about it, and I don’t want to hurt her feelings. Should I go along?
— Crazy About My Wife, Just Not About This Gift
Dear Crazy About Your Wife • Wow! I’ve heard of couples’ massages. And my husband and I even signed up for a couple’s ax-throwing session. But this is the first I’ve heard of a couple’s tarot reading. America! What a country!
You’re probably not the only person who feels uncomfortable having your cards read for a variety of reasons, so if you really, really, REALLY don’t want to do this, then you should let your wife know, although you’re right — you’ll probably hurt her feelings or, at the very least, disappoint her. Otherwise, go ahead and indulge this wife you’re crazy about. Seriously, what can it hurt? You might even have fun!
Dear Ann Cannon • My fiancé and I disagree on certain aspects of the English language. For example, he constantly says things such as “me and my brother went out to dinner” or “him and I went to the same school.” I try to tell him he shouldn’t start a sentence with “him,” “her,” or “me.” I think he does not take me seriously because he has more formal education than I. Maybe he would be more accepting if he saw such advice from you. My main concern is that I don’t want him to be embarrassed when speaking in public.
— Grammar Matters
Dear Grammar Matters • Please excuse me for a minute while the former English teacher in me nerds out. The personal pronouns “I,” “she” and “he” are in the subjective form. This means they should be used as the subject of a sentence, as in “He and I went to the same school.” “Him,” “her” and “me,” on the other hand, are in the objective form. This means they’re there to take the action of a verb, as in “My brother took me out to dinner.” “Me” is the object of the verb “to take.”
Basically, this is a really long way of telling you that you’re right and your fiancé is wrong. I will say, however, that he’s not alone. It’s not uncommon to hear people make this mistake these days.
At any rate, I hope this helps.
Dear Ann Cannon • This is in response to Your Faithful Reader, whose housemate insisted on getting help with housework when the roomie only wanted to read or watch TV.
When my husband retired a year ago, we discussed how to divide the housework more equitably rather than it being 90% my responsibility, which it had been during his years of employment. We decided on a solution that has worked for us. Since I am more aware of what needs to be done in the house, I write up a list each Monday morning of household tasks that I’d like done that week. We then divide the list, committing to have our tasks done by Saturday night. Each day, we do one or more chores.
If my roomie sits down to read for hours, watches TV, or works on projects of his own, I don’t feel any need to nag or remind him what needs to be done, because he’s always done by Saturday night.
— Working it Out