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Monson: Maniac parents of young athletes in Utah, drink a cup of shut the hell up

South Carolina coach Frank Martin communicates with players during the first half of an NCAA college basketball game against Auburn, Saturday, Feb. 17, 2018, in Columbia, S.C. (AP Photo/Sean Rayford)

I interviewed Frank Martin once but don’t know the South Carolina basketball coach, don’t know what the man is like to play for, how he treats his players and assistants and fans and reporters who cover him and all other sorts of human beings.

I do know this: Parents right here in Utah and everywhere else need to listen to him, parents who have kids who play sports.

If you fit into that category or spend time watching young athletes, you should check out the three-minute video that recently has floated around on the interwebs from a news conference with Martin speaking on the matter.

It’s darn near perfect.

Perfect tone. Perfect emphasis. Perfect advice. Perfect words.

He essentially said whiny, meddling parents should drink a cup of shut the hell up.

And here’s why he said it: Too many parents of kids who play sports are maniacs. Don’t be denying it. Admit it. Say it out loud with me.

I … am … a … maniac.

Recognition is the first step.

If it’s not you, maybe it’s the parent sitting next to you.

Even if you — they — don’t always outwardly act or yell like a whack-job on the sidelines or in the stands, even if you — they — don’t scream at your — their — kid or your — their — kid’s teammates or your — their — kid’s coach or the coach of your — their — kid’s opponent or parents of the kids on the opposing team, or referees who are officiating the game, you — they — think whack-job things in the privacy of your — their — own mind.

And you — they — should stop.

It’s healthy for everyone to stop.

Martin called upon his own experience of sitting at his kids’ basketball games, hearing the comments of parents around him.

“With all due respect to most parents out there, I probably know more about basketball than most of them, OK? But I sit in the stands and I don’t say a word. There’s two guys refereeing a fourth-grade game on a Sunday morning. What could they possibly be making? Twenty bucks a game? … So on a Sunday morning instead of being at church, those guys are out there trying to make a couple bucks to pay their bills, feed their families.”

He also emphasized the sacrifices volunteer coaches make, the time they offer and the abuse they sometimes take.

“So there’s someone that’s giving up their personal time on a Sunday for free to help other people’s children, yet we’re gonna have the adults in the stands yelling obscenities at the officials, criticizing every decision the coach makes? Yelling at the kids, like the kids — they’re 10 years old, man. Like if they’re a LeBron James and Dwyane Wade playing in the NBA Finals, like they know how to handle their coach over here and their parent over here, yelling at them. Then we wonder why kids get confused, man, why kids rebel, why kids don’t know how to listen.”

Martin added that if one of his kids has complaints about his coach and comes moaning and groaning to him, he says, “Hey, talk to your coach. I’m not your coach, I’m your dad. … If you fail, good, deal with it. I’m gonna help you get up. But don’t come talk to me about coaching.”

He also said: “I’m the most animated coach that you’ve probably ever seen when my team’s playing. I go watch my kids play, I don’t say, ‘Boo.’ I don’t wave my arms, I don’t try to coach my kids.”

Martin speaks poetry there.

Every parent of every young athlete — great, good, average, below average, poor — in Utah should consider that advice before his or her kid ever laces up his or her first sneaker or cleat or spike or turf shoe. Do yourself a favor: Listen and learn and live the life of a dad or mom free of what seems to be a natural inclination to think mostly of either your own child or, by extension, of yourself.

There are a whole lot of kids out there trying to have fun playing competitive sports. And many adults who volunteer time to help them. You do not want to be a detriment to that by living vicariously through your child’s perceived successes or failures on the field, court or diamond.

Not at the expense of your kid, your kid’s teammates, your kid’s coach or the officials.

There was a study published a while back that found the reason most children quit playing sports is because they’re not having fun, and the No. 1 reason kids stopped having fun playing sports was because of the sorry behavior of adults.

That’s pathetic.

I’ve surveyed coaches, from junior leagues straight on up to high school

teams, and they say the biggest challenge in their jobs is … well, you-know-who. Parents who scream and stomp around in public or private about their kid’s performance or the playing time their kid gets or doesn’t get or the fact that Bill and Judy’s kid starts and their kid doesn’t, Sam and Jenny’s kid is the star and their kid isn’t, Tom and Cindy’s kid gets to score and their kid is stuck on the back line.

If those thoughts bore into your mind at any time while watching your kid play, stop and sing a happy song, catch yourself and make it a point to hug your kid later.

Listen to Frank Martin on this one. He’s right.

Gordon Monson hosts “The Big Show” weekdays from 3 to 7 p.m. on 97.5 FM and 1280 AM The Zone.