In response to “When your loved ones leave the LDS Church” by Cinco Paul:
I left the LDS Church nearly five years ago. It was one of the hardest and most gut-wrenching choices I’ve ever made. I left behind my family, the only world that I was told I belonged in. So, when I read Cinco Paul’s reflections on how to love those who leave, I recognized the sincerity, but I also felt the silence where our voices often go unheard but deserve to be seen.
Many of us don’t leave to rebel or hurt others. We leave because we’re searching for peace we didn’t find in the church. For me, that peace came only when I stopped forcing myself to belong in a space that no longer felt safe, truthful or whole. I didn’t lose my spirit when I left, I found it, unburdened and finally allowed to speak.
Paul reminds members not to blame themselves when loved ones step away. I’d offer one addition: don’t mourn us as though we’ve disappeared. We’re still here. Still growing. Still worthy of love, not for who we were, but for who we’re becoming. We don’t just leave the church and then disappear. It’s a level of deep unbecoming to exist solely without the boundaries we once were used to.
Peace looks different for everyone. For some, it’s found in the pews. For others, it’s found in leaving them behind.
Lindsay Regan, Providence, Rhode Island
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