My little town of Herriman is growing up. Proof is that we soon may have our first legal saloon. ’Bout Time Pub & Grub, 5502 W. 13400 South, is close to becoming an actual bar.
Yes, a place that sells liquor, a place that doesn’t allow elementary school kids to come in and shoot whiskey before going home to dinner and chores.
’Bout Time already has signs on its doors telling people under age 21 to stay out. That’s about the only change anyone in Herriman will notice from the outside.
On the inside, the only noticeable difference will be the absence of a Zion Curtain or Mormon Moat to help some people pretend that sin isn’t happening in close proximity.
This makes sense. I’ve yet to see a bar that handed out children’s menus and crayons. And those who fear the very sight of demon rum almost never go to bars.
A bar is where folks go to knock back a few, and by this I mean beer and sometimes other annoying patrons.
That was a deliberate stereotype. My past associations with bars have been mostly with slop chute joints where people go with the specific intent of getting stupid.
Hey, alcohol messes with your brain. Everyone knows that. So only idiots go into bars believing they’ll come back out smarter and more alert.
Unfortunately, these were the types of bars I frequented in the military (to get drunk), and later as a cop (to drag away the drunks). All told, I lost hundreds of dollars, two teeth and plenty of self-respect in them.
This is the image most nondrinkers have of bars — seedy little dives that drag down the market value of surrounding homes and businesses.
’Bout Time isn’t now and won’t be anything like that. I know because I’ve been there. On Thursday, I dropped in and talked with the manager, Michelle, about the change.
According to her, the biggest problem she’s experienced while operating ’Bout Time as a dining club (complete with a Zion Curtain) is the number of children who go stir crazy while the adults are drinking and watching a game.
She ends up having to serve drinks and baby-sit their kids, who will climb onto the pool tables if she doesn’t whack them with a pipe she keeps under the bar.
I’m kidding. Michelle is a responsible alcohol server. In fact, she came to my rescue when three older women started hitting on me.
Them • “You’re Kirby from The Tribune. We love you.”
Me • “How much have you ladies had to drink?”
It was a fair question. I never get hit on by women until they’ve reached at least 0.15 blood alcohol level. Michelle brought me a Coke, and I sat down with them. Bars are always good places to discuss politics.
Happily, the women weren’t drunk. ’Bout Time’ was just their gathering place to relax, drink a beer, and play trivia games. Friends having a good time. Nothing wrong with that.
We talked about whether Herriman needed a bar — in short, a place to drink without all the kid noise.
We agreed. Didn’t take long, either. Mostly we came up with things that Herriman definitely didn’t need, specifically more fast food joints, credit unions and churches.
I did a little digging and found out that in the five years that ’Bout Time has been serving alcohol, it hasn’t caused any deaths, divorces, repossessions or narrow-minded self-righteousness. It just serves alcohol and pub food.
One could even argue that it fills a necessary stress relief niche caused by those other places we already have far too many of.