One of the ways I tap into the Holy Spirit during church services has been eliminated, thanks to a Mormon church policy change restricting social media access in LDS meetinghouses.
“Meant to be a way to further the purposes of the church, enhance worship experiences and support administrative functions,” the LDS Church News reported, “internet access in meetinghouses will be limited and not include non-Church-related internet use.”
This was followed by a list of websites and apps now blocked, including Pinterest, MySpace, Twitter, Hulu, Instagram, Kahoot, Zynga, Gamespot and Clash of Clans.
I don’t mind any of those being blocked. Hell, I don’t even know what most of them are or do.
I am, however, concerned that I may be deprived of Taberknock and its poor backup site, ChoirWire. For the past several years, I’ve resorted to TaberKnock when meetings seemed to drag.
TaberKnock, of course, is the music app that provides users with rock hits covered by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.
People, you haven’t been truly touched by the Spirit until you’ve listened to this world-famous choir sing AC/DC’s “Highway to Hell” or Jay-Z and Kanye West’s “N----s in Paris.”
Less commonly known is the app ChoirWire, a site where popular musicians belt out songs from the LDS hymnal, like Nicki Minaj singing “We Thank Thee, O God, for a Prophet” or Foo Fighters rocking “There Is a Green Hill Far Away.”
I tell you, it doesn’t get more edifying than hearing Dave Grohl rage, “And try his works to doooooo!” The drum solo during this song is killer.
I’m not sure if the church will block TabTwang. I haven’t tried it yet, but, given that my two favorite inspirational music apps may be on the outs, I may be forced to do so.
Might be interesting to hear the MoTabs sing Trace Adkins’ 2005 hit, “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk,” although I rather doubt it. I’d sooner listen to them cover “Achy Breaky Heart,” by Billy Ray Cyrus. But only once, and then just for laughs.
I don’t play any of the blocked games such as “Clash of Clans” or “Big Fish Games.” I can’t focus my attention enough to win.
On the other hand, I might get into sacrament meeting gaming if, instead of blocking such sites, the church came up with its own games — “Call of Duty to God,” perhaps, and “Nephite Massacre.”
When it comes to enhancing the “worship experience,” I often prefer looking at a high councilman talk while I listen to The Scorpions.
Councilman (saying) • “And the Lord tells us, brothers and sisters, in Deuteronomy, Chapter 32, verses 7 through 52, that …”
Me (hearing) • “He’s licking his lips, he’s ready to win. On the hunt tonight for love at first sting! Here I am, rock you like a hurricane!”
Maybe not for you, but, for me, one is infinitely more inspiring than the other.
But that’s just me. The truth is that the spirit comes in many forms, and it’s usually heeded according to personal preference. I prefer to have my spirits raised rather than lowered.
If I’m going to hell (as some of you repeatedly remind me), then I don’t see any reason I can’t listen to the soundtrack while I worship my way there.
