Kirby - The Salt Lake Tribune

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Kirby

Kirby: You can chop the three-hour Mormon block on your own. After all, how much Sunday suffering does the Lord require?

Kirby: You can chop the three-hour Mormon block on your own. After all, how much Sunday suffering does the Lord require?

By Robert Kirby • 1d ago

Kirby: Hey, Ambassador Huntsman, I’ll take over your Russian gig

Kirby: Hey, Ambassador Huntsman, I’ll take over your Russian gig

Kirby: Hey, Ambassador Huntsman, I’ll take over your Russian gig

By Robert Kirby • 3d ago

Kirby: I’m all for policing the police, but the overseers need some cop smarts

Kirby: I’m all for policing the police, but the overseers need some cop smarts

Kirby: I’m all for policing the police, but the overseers need some cop smarts

By Robert Kirby • 5d ago

Kirby: BYU’s police — Mormon rites vs. Miranda rights

Kirby: BYU’s police — Mormon rites vs. Miranda rights

Kirby: BYU’s police — Mormon rites vs. Miranda rights

By Robert Kirby • July 15

Kirby: I love feeding Utah birds, but any winged out-of-state invaders best watch out

Kirby: I love feeding Utah birds, but any winged out-of-state invaders best watch out

Kirby: I love feeding Utah birds, but any winged out-of-state invaders best watch out

By Robert Kirby • July 13

Kirby: Trump wanted me to serve on the Supreme Court until he heard my views on the issues

Kirby: Trump wanted me to serve on the Supreme Court until he heard my views on the issues

Kirby: Trump wanted me to serve on the Supreme Court until he heard my views on the issues

By Robert Kirby • July 11

Kirby: As much as I like blowing up things, I’m staying away from fire this July Fourth

Kirby: As much as I like blowing up things, I’m staying away from fire this July Fourth

Kirby: As much as I like blowing up things, I’m staying away from fire this July Fourth

By Robert Kirby • July 4

Kirby: In a critic, I found a kindred spirit. Rest in peace, Fire Marshal Thatcher.

Kirby: In a critic, I found a kindred spirit. Rest in peace, Fire Marshal Thatcher.

Kirby: In a critic, I found a kindred spirit. Rest in peace, Fire Marshal Thatcher.

By Robert Kirby • July 1

Kirby: I don’t have the memory or the money to make up for all the bad things I’ve done

Kirby: I don’t have the memory or the money to make up for all the bad things I’ve done

Kirby: I don’t have the memory or the money to make up for all the bad things I’ve done

By Robert Kirby • June 29

Kirby: I can’t get enough of women — and not in the way you’re thinking

Kirby: I can’t get enough of women — and not in the way you’re thinking

Kirby: I can’t get enough of women — and not in the way you’re thinking

By Robert Kirby • June 27

Kirby: I’m speaking in my Mormon ward today, so hold on to your spiritual butts

Kirby: I’m speaking in my Mormon ward today, so hold on to your spiritual butts

Kirby: I’m speaking in my Mormon ward today, so hold on to your spiritual butts

By Robert Kirby • June 24

Kirby: If you’re a Utah guy, there’s a 90 percent chance you’ll need to be rescued after doing something dumb this summer

Kirby: If you’re a Utah guy, there’s a 90 percent chance you’ll need to be rescued after doing something dumb this summer

Kirby: If you’re a Utah guy, there’s a 90 percent chance you’ll need to be rescued after doing something dumb this summer

By Robert Kirby • June 22

Kirby: At graduation ceremonies, how much flair is fair?

Kirby: At graduation ceremonies, how much flair is fair?

Kirby: At graduation ceremonies, how much flair is fair?

By Robert Kirby • June 20

Kirby: If you had a good father, count yourself lucky. I do.

Kirby: If you had a good father, count yourself lucky. I do.

Kirby: If you had a good father, count yourself lucky. I do.

By Robert Kirby • June 17

Kirby: Drive safe this summer; cut those mothertruckers some slack

Kirby: Drive safe this summer; cut those mothertruckers some slack

Kirby: Drive safe this summer; cut those mothertruckers some slack

By Robert Kirby • June 15

Kirby: Don’t pick fights America can’t win, Mr. President, so lay off Canada

Kirby: Don’t pick fights America can’t win, Mr. President, so lay off Canada

Kirby: Don’t pick fights America can’t win, Mr. President, so lay off Canada

By Robert Kirby • June 13

Kirby: Be careful which parts of Mormon doctrine you think will never change. In 180 years, they might.

Kirby: Be careful which parts of Mormon doctrine you think will never change. In 180 years, they might.

Kirby: Be careful which parts of Mormon doctrine you think will never change. In 180 years, they might.

By Robert Kirby • June 10

Kirby: My town is getting its first bar, and that’s fine by me — just don’t bring in anymore fast food joints, credit unions and churches

Kirby: My town is getting its first bar, and that’s fine by me — just don’t bring in anymore fast food joints, credit unions and churches

Kirby: My town is getting its first bar, and that’s fine by me — just don’t bring in anymore fast food joints, credit unions and churches

By Robert Kirby • June 8

Kirby: Spare the rod — or the belt or the fly swatter or the cooking pot or the Book of Mormon — spoil the Kirby

Kirby: Spare the rod — or the belt or the fly swatter or the cooking pot or the Book of Mormon — spoil the Kirby

Kirby: Spare the rod — or the belt or the fly swatter or the cooking pot or the Book of Mormon — spoil the Kirby

By Robert Kirby • June 6

Kirby: With Mormons’ lifting of the black priesthood ban, God finally set right what we got wrong

Kirby: With Mormons’ lifting of the black priesthood ban, God finally set right what we got wrong

Kirby: With Mormons’ lifting of the black priesthood ban, God finally set right what we got wrong

By Robert Kirby • June 2

Kirby: How I spent my BEST summer vacation: I painted cow heinies, shot up a swing set and spent hours watching cheerleaders practice

Kirby: How I spent my BEST summer vacation: I painted cow heinies, shot up a swing set and spent hours watching cheerleaders practice

Kirby: How I spent my BEST summer vacation: I painted cow heinies, shot up a swing set and spent hours watching cheerleaders practice

By Robert Kirby • June 1

Kirby: Bugs hitting windshields — that’s one summer tradition I could live without, and so could the bugs

Kirby: Bugs hitting windshields — that’s one summer tradition I could live without, and so could the bugs

Kirby: Bugs hitting windshields — that’s one summer tradition I could live without, and so could the bugs

By Robert Kirby • May 30

Kirby: Now Morgan Freeman? Say it isn’t so. And if it isn’t so — how does he earn back his reputation?

Kirby: Now Morgan Freeman? Say it isn’t so. And if it isn’t so — how does he earn back his reputation?

Kirby: Now Morgan Freeman? Say it isn’t so. And if it isn’t so — how does he earn back his reputation?

By Robert Kirby • May 27

Kirby: Downsizing is a blessing, but today’s housing market is a curse

Kirby: Downsizing is a blessing, but today’s housing market is a curse

Kirby: Downsizing is a blessing, but today’s housing market is a curse

By Robert Kirby • May 25

Kirby: So you’re saying readers don’t want more trains vs. people stories? Well, then I got nothing.

Kirby: So you’re saying readers don’t want more trains vs. people stories? Well, then I got nothing.

Kirby: So you’re saying readers don’t want more trains vs. people stories? Well, then I got nothing.

By Robert Kirby • May 23