Voices: I’ve lost two siblings to overdose. Families like mine need better support.

Though overdose death rates are declining nationally, Utah is one of only five states where rates increased in 2024. Each overdose death sends a family into crisis, as their worst fear becomes reality. On Overdose Awareness Day, we remember those we’ve loved and lost — but our support for families impacted by substance use must extend beyond this single day.

I’ve lost two siblings to overdose. My brother, Jake, died in 2014 at age 26, and my sister, Erin, passed in 2017 at age 31. As someone who has lived through the devastation of substance use disorder (SUD), I know firsthand how it wreaks havoc on the entire family system. My personal experience has shaped my academic research career, which focuses on developing resources to support families through the challenges of SUD and overdose loss.

The grief that follows an overdose is often disenfranchised — unacknowledged or dismissed because of the nature of our loved one’s death. Sometimes, people simply don’t know what to say or how to help. Their intentions may be good, but they lack the tools to offer meaningful support. Other times, societal stigma casts a long shadow over our grief. Families are made to feel as though they have less of a right to mourn.

When Jake died, I faced comments that blamed him — and me. I internalized that guilt and shame. When Erin passed away three years later, I believed I didn’t have the right to grieve, so I didn’t. I buried my pain and carried on, until it eventually bubbled over. Even then, I grieved in isolation, too ashamed to ask for help from even my closest friends and family.

Support for families like mine is essential — not just after a loss, but also throughout a loved one’s SUD and recovery journey. Research shows that family members of people with SUD are more likely to experience depression, trauma and even develop SUDs themselves, compared to families dealing with other chronic conditions, like diabetes or asthma. These challenges are compounded by stigma, which can lead to negative mental health outcomes, discrimination, isolation and a lower quality of life. Stigma also prevents families from seeking help, fearing judgment or misunderstanding.

To be clear, resources for families do exist, but they can be hard to find, lack evidence of effectiveness and sometimes reinforce stigma. The evidence-based programs available tend to focus on supporting specific family members (i.e., parents and children) or how families can support their loved one with SUD — rather than addressing the family’s own needs for healing, information and emotional support.

Over the past decade, I’ve collected stories from families impacted by substance use as part of my research. Time and again, families thank me for providing a nonjudgmental space to talk about their loved ones and their experiences. These conversations have shown me that my family is not alone. While our circumstances vary, our pain is shared. Listening to and learning from other families has been healing for me — and science backs this up. Connection and storytelling are powerful tools for coping and resilience.

In the past, I hid my grief and shame. Today, I choose to speak openly. I do this to challenge the social norms that expect us to suffer in silence or whisper our stories in secret. We need to share these stories out loud — without shame. And we need our communities to listen — without judgment.

More importantly, we need our legislators and communities to stand with us beyond Overdose Awareness Day. We need resources that are designed specifically for families impacted by substance use. These resources should be accessible, evidence-based and focused on the wellbeing of the family — not just the individual with SUD. When families are supported, they are better equipped to support their loved one’s recovery journey.

Overdose Awareness Day is a time to honor those we’ve lost. But it must also be a call to action. Let’s ensure that families impacted by substance use are seen, heard and supported — not just today, but every day.

Sydney O’Shay is an assistant professor of communication studies and primary investigator of the Research on Equity, Advocacy and Communication in Health (REACH) Lab at Utah State University. She is an expert in stigma, family substance use and health communication.

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