Voices: How BYU’s Honor Code keeps students safe

As a college professor and someone who regularly works with young adults, I watch students wrestle with big life choices. Two of the most significant ones I see include: Should I have premarital sex? Should I drink alcohol?

Most college students in the United States say yes to both, in part due to peer pressure. Universities do little to encourage abstinence. At BYU, however, students commit to completely abstain from sex and alcohol through an honor code. To students elsewhere, that may seem odd — even prudish. Few would choose a school with such strict rules. Total abstinence can feel extreme.

But as former BYU quarterback Jake Retzlaff recently learned, breaking that commitment can bring serious consequences. His case involved a rape lawsuit, damage to his reputation, loss of NIL deals and, ultimately, a team change. His story raises a larger question: Is there a compelling case for complete abstinence from sex and alcohol? Should more students consider it?

Let’s look at the research — and the risks.

I don’t believe anybody dreams of growing up to become an alcoholic, kill someone while driving drunk, have a child out of wedlock or get a sexually transmitted infection. Yet, in the U.S.:

Nobody plans to be a statistic — but millions are. How do so many end up where they never intended?

I’ve counseled many young adults who’ve said, “One drink won’t hurt,” or “I love him, so I think it’s okay to have sex.” And honestly? They might be right — once. One drink or one encounter may not lead to disaster. But I’ve seen when it does.

I’ve spoken with students who said it only happened once and still experienced an unplanned pregnancy. The emotional toll, the tears, the stress of a life-altering event is heartbreaking. And even when there’s no immediate consequence, another issue often follows: habituation.

The American Psychological Association defines habituation as “growing accustomed to a situation or stimulus.” In simple terms, your body adjusts, so you need more to feel the same effect.

Apply that to drinking and sex. One drink might give you a buzz — but soon you’ll need two. Then three. The same with sexual behavior: As it becomes more frequent, you need more intensity or frequency to feel the same. That’s how one drink becomes a habit — and one sexual encounter leads to many.

Here’s the point: When we chase a physical high — whether from alcohol or sex — our bodies push us to repeat and escalate the behavior. No one plans to drive drunk, but it often starts with casual drinking. No one plans to be an alcoholic, yet more than 14 million Americans are. Likewise, no one plans to get an STI or become a parent before they’re ready. But through habituation, one experience leads to more and risk grows.

Young adults often think, “That won’t happen to me.” Especially in the beginning. But then life hits. A tough breakup. A friend dies. A job falls through. Depression creeps in. Financial pressure builds. And suddenly, things feel out of control. In those moments, people reach for comfort — and if they’ve used alcohol or sex before, they’re more likely to turn to it again.

The mix of habituation and life’s challenges can lead to real trouble — even addiction.

Yet here’s one simple truth: It doesn’t happen to those who choose full abstinence. If you never drink, you won’t become an alcoholic. You won’t be arrested for drunk driving. If you don’t have sex before marriage, you won’t get an STI or have an unplanned pregnancy. Moreover, research shows that those with few or no premarital sexual partners report higher marital satisfaction.

That’s the logic for abstinence. It’s not easy. It takes self-control and patience. But so do most things that matter in life.

Interestingly, BYU’s Honor Code — long viewed as a challenge in recruiting athletes — is now being pitched by coaches like Kevin Young as a benefit. The message? BYU offers an environment free from distractions like sex and alcohol, helping students focus on what matters most. The Honor Code, when lived, is a protective framework for navigating some of life’s biggest choices.

As Gordon Monson points out, BYU has a responsibility enforce the honor code in a way that is supportive and fair. While applying consequences for any rule is challenging, that does not mean the university should abandon a code that supports students in decisions they choose to make.

Of course, the code is only effective if students choose to live it. As Jake Retzlaff unfortunately discovered, the cost of breaking it can be high.

Jeff Dyer, Ph.D., is the Horace Beesley Distinguished Professor of Strategy at BYU and was previously a professor at the University of Pennsylvania’s Wharton Business School. His research has been covered by Forbes, Economist, Wall Street Journal and many other publications.

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