Editor’s note: This story discusses sexual assault. If you need to report or discuss a sexual assault in Utah, you can call the Rape and Sexual Assault Crisis Line at 801-736-4356. The National Sexual Assault Hotline is 800-656-4673.
I had someone I trusted. He was kind to me. He made me laugh. He showed me attention. And, as a lonely 13-year-old, I enjoyed his company. The problem was that he was not 13. He was an adult in my family’s circle. He was in the leadership of the church I attended.
My trust wasn’t warranted. This man violated me. He sexually abused me, and my life was never the same again. The shame I carried throughout the rest of my teen years and into adulthood has been huge. I thought it was my fault. I thought I had enticed him because I actually loved when he came over.
My memories of the past have dimmed so much now. I only get glimpses of that girl. Our family of seven struggled to make ends meet. I know I was loved by my mom; she sewed the cutest clothes for me. I had a dad who taught me a love of sports. My mom struggled staying at home, knowing our family, and maybe even herself, needed more. My dad worked so hard, but we weren’t making it financially. I was the oldest sister. Once my mom decided to go back to school and work, a lot fell on my shoulders caretaking-wise. And I was young and immature.
From that vantage point, I remember thinking maybe I had tempted the man I had trusted. Back then, it was reported to my church leader, and we all moved on. My mind attempted to block out those horrors of my history — I had no desire to bring them back.
But then, when I was 57 years old, The Safe Child Project was founded. When I learned about The Policy Project’s 2024 legislative initiative to shed light on and prevent child sexual abuse, I worked for a year to promote the passage of SB205. This bill secures ongoing funding and support for child sexual abuse prevention education in elementary schools across Utah. The prevention curriculum is age-appropriate and helps kids recognize warning signs, use technology safely and identify trusted adults to talk to.
The idea of being so open and honest about such a difficult topic almost felt unnatural — like a dream — could we actually talk about this? Could we teach this to kids and maybe even prevent what happened to me?
When this happened to me at 13, these topics were never spoken about. We couldn’t. We wouldn’t. But as I advocated for SB205, I watched powerful women and men stand up and share their stories. I watched The Policy Project team boldly and calmly fight for our state to do better and be better. I learned that sexual abuse is more common than most of us would imagine — with 1 in 7 Utah children being sexually abused. Like me all those years ago, children ages 7 to 13 are the most vulnerable to abuse and, just as in my case, about 90% of cases involve perpetrators known and trusted by the child.
Contributing to The Safe Child Project unearthed painful memories — ones I rarely, if ever, allowed myself to process. But it also brought energy and comfort to my soul. The significance of SB205 cannot be overstated. The first time I engaged with the abuse prevention curriculum, I went to my car and wept. Had I been taught these lessons early on, I might have recognized grooming behaviors, identified safe adults, discerned inappropriate actions and, most importantly, understood that the abuse I endured was not my fault.
While SB205 may not address every issue, it holds the potential to prevent countless instances of abuse. When SB205 passed, I felt hope, relief, gratitude, empowerment and healing — like a weight I had carried for more than four decades was finally lifted.
I am thrilled that the state of Utah has taken a stand, offering our children a chance at a safer future. Both my 13-year-old and 57-year-old selves find so much comfort in knowing that, thanks to the dedicated efforts of so many who have helped pass and implement SB205, we are paving the way for a brighter, safer, more informed generation. One that can talk more openly about these issues and that won’t carry the same shame.
(Sandi Snowden) Sandi Snowden has spent her life serving others — volunteering with USANA, building several homes with Habitat for Humanity and serving the kids and parents of the Alpine School District for over 30 years.
Sandi Snowden is a wife, mom, grandma and friend. Sandi has spent her life serving others — volunteering with USANA, building several homes with Habitat for Humanity and serving the kids and parents of the Alpine School District for over 30 years. In 2020, she was honored as Volunteer of the Year by the State of Utah PTA. Sandi joined The Policy Project because of her love for women who want to make a change.
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