Devorah Stucki: How BYU actively harms the LGBTQ+ community

It’s a Sunday afternoon. I hit “Post” and shut my phone off for the next three hours. I’m sick to my stomach because, for the first time, I am entirely vulnerable.

I was going into my senior year at Brigham Young University, a school owned and operated by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Coming out as a member of the LGBTQ+ community would subject me to harassment and discrimination. Over the next few weeks, I would face reactions from the comical, to the clueless, to the devastating.

There’s a level of assumed homogeneity at BYU. In an environment where it seems like we all think and act in similar ways, people with different experiences are often ignored. However, LGBTQ+ students permeate every aspect of BYU, however, BYU is distinctly cruel in their policies and practices towards them.

The argument is made that BYU’s policies are only reflecting the teachings of the church. We are taught that while we must love everyone, we cannot love LGBTQ+ people too much because it might encourage them. However, conditional love goes directly against the core tenets of Christianity and has no place at BYU.

They use phrases like “Hate the sin, love the sinner.” Cliches like this dismiss the real struggles of the LGBTQ+ community, alienating a vulnerable population. While one can have endless debates about the implications of church doctrine and modern revelation, the reality is that BYU students are currently being prevented from having a normal university experience. Despite personal opinions, carefully regulated kindness cannot be a replacement for Christlike compassion.

During my time at BYU, I have seen an endless number of discriminatory policies put into place. Currently, the honor code (a contract every BYU student signs upon admission) limits the romantic relationships, affirming resources and community building of LGBTQ+ students. I was deeply disappointed when this week BYU announced another policy intended to hurt the LGBTQ+ community.

Twice LGBTQ+ BYU students and allies have climbed the Y Mountain with flashlights to light it up for one hour in rainbow colors. This demonstration is meant to show other LGBTQ+ BYU students that they are not alone, and that BYU can be a safe place for them.

This week BYU banned this demonstration. They stated any BYU student participating in a demonstration at the Y could be expelled. By banning a harmless activity that provided hope to so many marginalized students BYU has once again limited our ability to create safe spaces.

I have always loved BYU. After growing up on campus, when it came time to think about colleges BYU was the only school I applied to because, at 17, it felt like the only place I could belong. BYU is a unique microcosm where we can have complex discussions about the intersection of evolution and religion, attend accredited courses on the Book of Mormon and know that the people we are living with have similar values and beliefs. But being a closeted BYU student is one of the most painful things I have ever experienced. I do not know if I would have made it as far as I have without the support of other LGBTQ+ students.

After coming out as a member of the LGBTQ+ community, everything carries a different weight than before. Underclassmen come to me, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. They want to know how I did it. Why did I stay when it seems so much easier to leave? I never know what to tell them. I cannot justify convincing other students to stay when I know the pain they will have to experience.

Unless drastic changes are made at BYU, it will never be a safe place for people like me. I have only a few months till graduation, but I want to leave BYU a kinder, safer place than when I arrived. I want to love BYU again, but I can’t do it alone.

Devorah Stucki is a senior at Brigham Young University studying bioinformatics. She is an active member of the LGBTQ+ community at BYU.