Last Wednesday, we picked up our missionary daughter at the airport. We weren't the only ones. But we may have been the least prepared.
It's been more than two years since The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints lowered the age for full time missionary service, causing a flood of new missionaries that included our daughter. Now those missionaries are coming home.
We arrived late at the airport. By late, I mean 15 minutes early. By the time we arrived, the concourse was full of parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles and an assorted collection of friends, cousins and other "followers," all waiting for loved ones to return from their missions. The airport prepared for a crowd. They cordoned off a walkway to make sure the other passengers could exit without navigating through a frenzied mob. I was not ready for such a large crowd. I did not know I needed to be there an hour early and invite all of my daughter's Facebook friends to attend.
I also didn't know you needed to bring cowbells. That's right, cowbells. When I came home from my mission, my mom and dad and some of my brothers and sisters came to the airport to pick me up. There were tears, hugs and kisses but nothing more. We thought we would go well beyond that and make a couple of handmade posters. White paper, red marker posters. We were completely unprepared for the current methods of picking up a missionary. We saw professionally printed signs and banners, balloons and bouquets of flowers. The freshly returned missionaries included Sister Someone-Designed-a-Freaking-T-shirt-for- the-Entire-Entourage, Elder We-Hired-a-Videographer and Sister Cowbell. When Sister Cowbell came down the escalator she arrived to the cheers of dozens of family members and six juvenile cousins ringing cowbells. Good Lord have mercy.
Not to be outdone, Elder We-Hired-a-Videographer waited for most of the others before he made his appearance. There were two escalators descending from the terminal to the concourse. All the other passengers used the closest escalator, sharing the spotlight with the other passengers. Elder We-Hired-a-Videographer took the far escalator to make sure no one else could steal his glory. As he descended, he struck a Heisman pose, with scriptures as a football. The We-Hired-a-Videographer family thought this was hilarious. But sadly the videographer was not ready. So the family made him run up the stairs and do it again.
In 19 months, I get to pick up another missionary. This time I will be ready. I'm placing my order with the fireworks company today.
Ken Parkinson is an attorney in Provo.
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