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Scott D. Pierce: Lindsay Lohan’s made-in-Utah TV movie is pretty terrible, but local ski resorts look good

Candace Cameron Bure wouldn’t like it because it’s just a little bit gay.

(Scott Everett White | Netflix) Lindsay Lohan, Chord Overstreet, Olivia Perez and Bus Riley in "Falling for Christmas."

Lindsay Lohan’s Netflix Christmas movie is weird, wacky and pretty much entirely predictable, but a couple of Utah ski lodges are nicely represented.

“Falling for Christmas” comes off a lot like a Hallmark holiday movie, with all sorts of unlikely romantic developments playing out against a holly, jolly background. It wouldn’t be out of place on Hallmark, although it wouldn’t air on GAC Family because it does make the yuletide just a little bit gay.

The teleflick is also a bit of a Frankenstein, seemingly stitched together from pieces of other movies.

Lohan stars as Sierra Belmont, the daughter of a ski resort magnate (Jack Wagner). She’s so spoiled she doesn’t even realize she’s spoiled. She’s staying at the Belmont Summit Resort — played by the Goldener Hirsch in Park City. For reasons that defy understanding, she’s in a relationship with Tad Fairchild (George Young), a social-media influencer who is clearly far more in love with himself than he is with her.

Tad takes Sierra into the wilderness to propose, but she falls down a mountain and goes headfirst into a tree. In real life, that might be a Sonny Bono moment, but this is a Christmas movie so it plays like slapstick comedy. Sierra suffers a mild concussion and amnesia. (The same thing happened to Goldie Hawn, except on a yacht, in “Overboard,” way back in 1987.)

Sierra is rescued by Jake Russell (Chord Overstreet, formerly of “Glee”), who takes her back to his charming North Star Ski Lodge, played by the Stein Eriksen Lodge in Deer Valley. There’s more slapstick as Sierra tries to make a bed, clean a toilet and do laundry.

Jake is a nice guy struggling to make the North Star a success. He’s a widower with an adorable young daughter; Sierra doesn’t know who she is — and if you don’t know exactly what’s going to happen with Jake and Sierra, you’ve never watched TV.

Before we get there, the script hauls out all sorts of Christmas cliches. Not only is Santa Claus secretly creating some magic, but there’s a scene lifted directly out of “It’s a Wonderful Life.”

“Falling for Christmas” is what it is. It’s frothy. dopey, ridiculous and kind of terrible. But both Stein Eriksen and Goldener Hirsch look great.

And, weird as this might sound, Lohan and Overstreet are both quite charming. Young has a tougher task — playing a cartoonish character who spouts lines like, “What kind of crap forest doesn’t have a cell tower?”

But if you’re looking for mindless holiday entertainment, you could do worse than “Falling for Christmas,” which is now streaming on Netflix.

(Jordan Strauss | Invision/AP) Candace Cameron Bure arrives at the Kids' Choice Awards at The Forum on Saturday, March 24, 2018, in Inglewood, Calif.

Candace Cameron Bure is a homophobe

“Falling for Christmas” is a bit of a comeback for Lohan, whose personal struggles have been well documented. She’s not only the star, but she’s an executive producer of the movie.

And, no spoilers here, but there is a gay subplot. Which means that this inoffensive movie would be highly offensive to Candace Cameron Bure, who doesn’t like to see members of the LGBTQ+ community in Christmas movies.

The former star of “Full House” and “Fuller House” left the Hallmark Channel — where she’d made a whole bunch of Christmas and non-Christmas movies — when Hallmark started including gay characters in its TV movies. She’s moved to the GAC Family channel, which eschews members of the LGBTQ+ community.

“I knew that the people behind Great American Family were Christians that love the Lord and wanted to promote faith programming and good family entertainment,” Bure told the Wall Street Journal. Asked if there would be any GAC Family movies featuring gay characters as leads, Bure — who is GAC Family’s “chief creative officer” — said the channel “will keep traditional marriage at the core.”

In other words, no gays. And Bure is seemingly incapable of understand that excluding a group is a form of discrimination. Just imagine, for example, if she’d said GAC Family would have no movies centered on Black couples.

When she caught backlash for her comments, Bure tried to defend herself. She released a statement that read, “All of you who know me, know beyond question that I have great love and affection for all people.” Which sounds sort of like a bigot saying “I have Black friends.”

And Bure blamed the messenger. Rather than taking responsibility for her own words, she is saddened “that the media is often seeking to divide us” and she lashed out at “members of the media responsible for using this opportunity to fan flames of conflict and hate.” She did not claim the Wall Street Journal misquoted her. (The interview was almost certainly recorded.)

And she claimed to love just about everyone, including those “who have tried to assassinate my character.” By accurately quoting her, that is.

Bure wrote, “It absolutely breaks my heart that anyone would ever think I intentionally would want to offend and hurt anyone.” What she did not do is apologize to anyone she offended or hurt.

This is not surprising. This is the person Bure has long demonstrated herself to be. If there’s anything notable, it’s the casual homophobia that is so ingrained in her she doesn’t even recognize it.

By the way, Bure’s first holiday movie for GAC Family — “A Christmas … Present” — debuts Sunday at 6 p.m. It does not feature a gay couple.

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