Dear Ann Cannon • I’m a single divorced woman in my early 30s. My problem is that an older woman in my Latter-day Saint ward keeps trying to line me up. The last man she wanted me to go out with was in his 50s. Not that there’s anything wrong with men in their 50s — I just don’t want to date one.
I know this woman has my best interests at heart — she’s very sweet and I don’t want to hurt her feelings. But I’m also not interested in the kind of guys she’s trying to set me up with. How should I handle this, short of hiding behind a pew whenever I see her coming my way?
— Not That Desperate
Dear Not That Desperate • Well, you could stop going to church — or you could just be straightforward with your well-meaning friend. Tell her that while you genuinely appreciate her efforts on your behalf, you aren’t interested in being set up right now.
This is easy advice to give, harder to do — especially if you’re a pleaser. And the truth is, your friend’s feelings might be a little hurt at first. But if you’re kind to her now and in the future, she’ll probably get over it. And you won’t have to date someone you don’t want to. Win!
Dear Tribune Readers • Because of a certain experience I had this week, I’ve decided to give completely unsolicited advice on the following topic: What to do if your daughter-in-law asks if you’d like to be present when she gives birth to your grandchild.
- React with gratitude — and possibly surprise — but mostly with gratitude. As the mother of boys only, I just assumed I would never be asked to attend a birth, so I was incredibly touched when our son’s wife generously invited me to be in the delivery room with her.
- Be prepared to receive a phone call 3:30 a.m. Normally a call at 3:30 in the morning is cause for alarm. But not always, obviously!
- Come to a complete stop at all stop signs on your way to hospital. Unless, of course, you’re driving to the hospital at 3:30 a.m.
- Remember that you’ll need a code to be admitted to the labor and delivery unit. Ask your son to text you the code. Then don’t leave your phone in the car.
- Race to the room where the nurse on duty has directed you. Who knows? Maybe your daughter-in-law has had that baby already. After all, her last baby came quickly. In fact, your daughter-in-law barely made it to the hospital because her husband (your son) stopped for a Crown Burger on the way.
- Discover that your daughter-in-law is still in labor when you get there. Hey! Good news! For you, at least!
- Settle in and try not to get in the way.
- When it gets to the part where the midwife tells your daughter-in-law to push, be filled with respect and awe.THEY DO NOT CALL IT “LABOR” FOR NOTHING! Honestly, you’re so impressed with your daughter-in-law you could burst.
- Cry a little when the baby finally arrives. Because wow. (Cliché alert!) But. What. A. Miracle.
- Hold the baby at least once before you leave the hospital. You’ll have to stand in line for a turn, of course, after the mom and the dad and the midwife and the nurses. But the sweet wait is worth it. And once that baby girl is in your arms, be sure to kiss her neck and inhale her sweet newborn fragrance before it disappears.
Welcome to the world, New One.