If you take a close look at the photo that accompanies this column, you might notice something: I am a white male.
This is not an accomplishment I strived for. It just happened, as the numbers came up a certain way in a roll of the genetic dice.
Being a white male, the popular culture tells us, means that I must wield enormous influence in politics, the mass media and society as a whole — and, because of that influence, I'm responsible for all manner of evils in the world.
Somehow, I don't feel all-powerful or particularly evil. Maybe I'm not doing the white-male thing right. Based on what's happening these days, I thought of many ways I'm not behaving like a stereotypical white male:
• I have never railed against the existence of female characters in video games, or against critics who have pointed out the sexist and misogynist elements of some video games. I also have never made death threats via social media against female video-game designers or critics, nor have I ever covered up such behavior by arguing that I was just looking out for journalistic ethics in the video-game criticism community.
• I cheered when I heard about a new "Ghostbusters" movie starring four female comedians, because I think those four women — Kristen Wiig, Melissa McCarthy, Kate McKinnon and Leslie Jones — are really funny, and Paul Feig is a great director of female comic talent. Not once did I complain that the movie, which I haven't seen yet, was a travesty against the original film, or that my childhood was being destroyed.
• I have not watched any of the movies Adam Sandler has made for Netflix.
• I have never danced like a dork in a sports arena when the JumboTron camera turned my way.
• I have never opined that I would switch my vote from Bernie Sanders to Donald Trump because I could see no difference between an anti-Wall Street socialist and a fulminating real-estate developer.
• In my college days, I never got drunk at a college party and thought, "Now would be a good time to try to force sex on an unconscious woman." I also never tried to blame such behavior on a campus culture toward alcohol and promiscuity (as the friends and family of the Stanford rapist Brock Turner did).
• I have never declared myself a victim of "reverse discrimination."
• I never proclaimed that Muhammad Ali (or, for that matter, any other successful person of color) "transcended race." Also, unlike some people on Twitter, I never referred to Ali as Cassius Clay, because he stopped using that name before I was born — and continuing to use it now denies Ali his identity.
• I've never referred to the president of the United States, Barack Obama, as "Barry." I've also never posted racist memes on my Facebook involving President Obama and then said I was just making a joke.
• I have never worried about which bathroom other people are using. Some of this is because I, like most men, was taught to spend as little time as possible in a public restroom — get in, do your business and get out — and to never, ever make eye contact.
• I never assume that two women walking together, on the street or in the "Finding Dory" trailer, are a lesbian couple. If they are, that's lovely and I'm happy for them — but, either way, it's really none of my business.
• I have never snorted cocaine off any part of a hooker's anatomy. (If you watch movies about uber-rich white guys, as I have, you see this happen a lot.)
• I have never used the phrase "politically correct" as an insult or pretended that not being politically correct was a brave form of truth-telling and not just a fancy way of defending my right to be an insensitive douchebag.
• I am not always oblivious about the concepts of white privilege and male privilege. Sometimes, but not always — which puts me ahead of a fair number of white males.
Sean P. Means writes The Cricket in daily blog form at www.sltrib.com/blogs/moviecricket. Follow him on Twitter @moviecricket. Email him at spmeans@sltrib.com.