When I was an altar boy I took some sacred hosts from the rectory and distributed them to my third-grade classmates. Also in third grade, I used a crayon to write the word “poop” on Chris Dominic’s desk and lied about it to Sister Mary Katherine.

In high school, I fell in with a rough crowd and often left campus to go for coffee, drive through the mountains or go skiing. When I was in college, I ate some funny-tasting mushrooms and drove through the tunnel at Mesa Verde National Park numerous times; numerous times. At a fancy dinner at a fancy restaurant, I stole a salt and pepper shaker. Again, in college, I climbed through a bathroom window to evade law enforcement officials who came to the party where there may have been (was) illegal stuff.

Once, after drinking real beer from Nevada, I … well … urinated in a parking lot in Elko (I am not proud of that). Once, after catching three fish, I realized my Utah fishing license had indeed expired.

For all of these things, I pardon myself. I feel so much better!

Ronald J. Rood, Magna