I’m thinking of joining a political party, and I think it will be the Republican Party, and here’s why.
I’ve been wanting to buy an expensive new sports car, but I can’t afford it, and they are going to make it possible for me. I learned very early in life not to lie or steal. My parents made it too uncomfortable for me whenever I did either, and the guilt and shame were just too powerful to endure. So I have always been a very ethical person. But even so, every once in a while, an evil thought would enter my mind.
For example: I sometimes think that if there were a way I could obtain the money I need to buy that sports car by, say, not paying my taxes and having future generations make up the difference down the road, it would be perfect.
And then, by some quirk of luck, I woke up on a recent morning and read in the paper that our Sen. Orrin Hatch had voted for a way to make my dream come true: cutting my taxes for a few years and borrowing money from China and Saudi Arabia to cover the cost and then handing the bill to my great-grandchildren to pay off. What a perfect scheme.
I had now found a pure and simple (no bullcrap) way to steal money from people who would eventually have to pay it back, and they would never have a clue about what happened — and I am feeling no guilt or shame at all.
Thank you, Sen. Hatch, I will continue to support you even when you are casting your votes from the retirement home.
Rob Duncan, Sandy