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Ann Cannon: Dear long, hot summer, and other ‘tiny letters’ to the good and the bad of the season

(Francisco Kjolseth | The Salt Lake Tribune) Ann Cannon.

So, here it is. Another edition of “Tiny Letters.” Thanks to my good friend Lisa Bickmore for the inspiration.

Dear Summer of 2017,

You know you’re my favorite season hands down, but even I’ll admit you were long. And hot. You were a long, hot summer this year. Still, I hate seeing you in my rearview mirror.

Dear Mrs. Backer’s Almond Danish,

I appreciate how you are always there for me on Saturday mornings when I need to eat my feelings after a tough week. Thanks for being my favorite flaky/not flaky friend.

Dear Guy Who Wouldn’t Let Me Switch Lanes on 1-15 Going South and Thereby Caused Me to Miss an Exit,

Dude. I didn’t turn on my blinker for the exercise. I needed to switch lanes. That’s why I turned on my blinker. Get it? Also, I gave you plenty of advance warning, which you ignored. Here’s hoping you’re super happy you made me late.

Dear Myself,

This past week you took a dog to the Farmers Market and the Avenues Street Fair. Time for you to own it: You’ve turned into one of THOSE people.

Dear College Football,

I won’t lie. It feels strange to tune in this year. But I’m glad you’re still there. Carry on.

Dear “A Gentleman in Moscow” by Amor Towles,

Thank you for being my favorite book this summer. Who knew anyone could write such a buoyant, life-affirming novel set in Soviet Russia?

Dear “Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine” by Gail Honeyman and “News of the World” by Paulette Giles,

I enjoyed reading the two of you, as well.

Dear Coachman’s Restaurant,

I visited you last week and ordered your No. 6 breakfast. The four strips of bacon were perfect. The country potatoes were excellent, too. So yes. I was pleasantly surprised!

Dear Daniel Craig,

You played a thief in “Logan Lucky” and ended up stealing the whole show. Who knew you could be so funny?

Dear Sophie,

You’ve been my neighbor since the day you were born.  It’s been a pleasure to watch you grow up. Happy 16th Birthday!

Dear Jimmy,

And while I’m at it, Happy Birthday to my youngest brother. You’re better than a sister any old day.

Dear Utah County of My Childhood,

I miss your orchards and your fields of gold grasses. I’ll always feel sad when I see houses standing where those used to be.

Dear Knees,

I’ve been cocky where you’ve been concerned. While everyone around me has been having their knees replaced, I assumed you would stay forever young. Until now. I’m sorry I took you for granted.

Dear Dennis Eckersley,

You’re my favorite relief pitcher of all time. In my mind, you’ll always be 30-something with your long dark hair flowing from beneath your Oakland A’s cap. That’s why I was so surprised to see you looking my age on TV the other night. Eck! When did we get to be this old?

Dear Tomatoes, Corn and Peaches,

You guys! Why can’t you be in season all year round?

Dear Quizony.com,

Thanks to you I now know what my Scottish name is (“Elspeth”) and which Von Trapp I am (“Kurt”). I also know what reptile I am (“sea turtle”). Still, I wish you wouldn’t keep showing up in my Facebook feed and distracting me from important things. Like reading about Duchess Kate and how she’s all pregnant again, for example.

Dear Sea Turtles,

Hey! Apparently, we’re family!

Dear The King’s English Bookshop in Salt Lake City,

You survived the chains and now you’re surviving Amazon. Happy 40th birthday. Here’s to 40 more!

Dear People Who’ve Been Taking Care of My Kids in Texas,

Thank you. Truly.

Dear Florida,

You’re in our hearts.

Ann Cannon can be reached at acannon@sltrib.com or facebook.com/anncannontrib.