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Life is good at UTA:

Trip to Europe to ride the trains, good.

Generous bonus plus $267,000 salary, good.

Six snazzy new Segways, good.

So milk-and-honey good, working in Utah's transit system clearly numbs all sense of reality.

Like a teenager with Dad's credit card, Utah Transit Authority bosses spent $50,000 in federal stimulus funds on toys -- six of the goofy people movers. The feds weren't specific; they don't care if UTA bought Tasers or bikes. Technically, the purchase counts as a security investment. Officers will be head and shoulders above the crowds on TRAX and FrontRunner platforms.

"It's a very quick and easy way for officers to move around downtown and also patrol the parking lots and FrontRunner," said UTA spokesman Gerry Carpenter.

"Quick and easy." Huh? I watched two UTA officers gliding slowly across the intersection of 400 West and 100 South like something out of a Farrelly brothers movie. Segways reach a maximum speed of 12½ mph. They don't seem the most efficient way to chase a ticket scofflaw or car prowler. Quick and easy they ain't.

But this is life at UTA. Each outrageous shopping spree/continental tour/salary spike for transit bosses is more incredible than the last.

A year ago, legislative auditors found that after overstating ridership numbers, transit bosses used the inflated figures to justify Wall Street-worthy bonuses. In 2006, General Manager John Inglish


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was rewarded with $100,000 in bonuses, life insurance and retirement -- on top of his $267,000 base salary. Inglish makes more than New York City's transit boss. But UTA board members say nothing is too much for their guy.

Then last December, UTA spent $48,000 jetting nine managers, board members and politicians to Europe for a streetcar tour. Stops included: Vienna, Munich, Zurich, Nice and Bourdeaux. Monaco and Paris just happened to be on the way. Inglish says the trip convinced transit skeptics.

"You don't have vision if you don't see it happening somewhere," he said.

And now this.

While Inglish and others make themselves feel better with retail therapy, transit bosses also slashed through east-bench bus routes, raised fares to match $4 gas prices (then belatedly lowered them) and considered charging the handicapped more to ride.

"The thing that's frustrating about UTA is: When times are good, they cut services and increase prices. When times are bad, they cut services and increase prices," says Bill Tibbitts, director of the Anti-Hunger Action Committee. "They're always eager to spend on anything but the core service."

Every year, some private-sector devotee in the Legislature wants to cut off the transit agency's taxpayer IV.

It's getting harder and harder to argue the point.

walsh@sltrib.com