You always break the kindest heart

With a hasty word you can't recall

- "You Always Hurt the One You

Love," by Allan Roberts

and Doris Fisher

The Mills Brothers recorded that song in 1944. But it resonates right here in Salt Lake City, 61 years later.

Mayor Rocky Anderson on Friday fired Deeda Seed, former campaign volunteer and his sixth communications director in as many years. Seed characterized the termination to Salt Lake Tribune reporter Heather May as fallout over the way she handled the release to the media of e-mail responses about last week's anti-war protest. Seed also ticked off a long list of complaints about her boss. Anderson "berates," "degrades" and regularly "uses foul and derogatory language with regard to people who disagree with him."

She also charged him with caring more about Sudanese refugees than those closest to him.

What is wrong with this man? Beyond behaving badly, Anderson simply undercuts his ability to lead and will give his many critics more fodder. You can almost hear it: He is unstable. Crude. Boorish. He draws more attention to himself than to the city he represents.

The fact that the volcano blew - again - is hardly news to seasoned observers of the mayor's office. Anderson frequently bullies those he hires to put his best face forward. With a whopping 16 months on the job, Seed's longevity is second only to Josh Ewing, Anderson's handler from December 2000 to February 2004. Anderson says he has high standards, he runs a tight ship. But it's time he asked himself why so many decent employees keep scrambling for the lifeboats.

Right after Seed's termination, Christy Cordwell, Anderson's personal assistant since 2001, walked off her job, apparently in support of her co-worker. Cordwell described how Anderson pounds his desk and screams at Seed, and said others have witnessed it, too.

Cordwell's exit is the real sting. Sure, no one is irreplaceable. But in Rocky's world Cordwell comes close. She is bright and good-humored, efficient and professional with the public. In short, good at her job. And she couldn't take it anymore.

Anderson's reputation as "difficult" is not news. Nor is it entirely surprising that in tight quarters teeming with political intrigue like the mayor's office, the boss would bash those closest to him. But slash and burn management has it limits. Go no further for evidence than U.N. Ambassador John Bolton, whose characterization by subordinates as a relentless bully helped stall his confirmation close to forever.

Composers Roberts and Fisher had it so right. The Mills Brothers sang about it beautifully. And Dan Christensen, a psychiatrist with the University of Utah's Neuropsychiatric Institute puts it in perspective: "It's part of everybody to some degree," Christensen told me by telephone Monday, adding he in no way is offering a diagnosis or analysis of the mayor. "It's easier to love those who are not in your view than those you live and work with on a daily basis.

"We may want to cure all the people with AIDS in Africa and send our dollars to help. But to help the person with AIDS right in front of you, well, sometimes you walk on by."

You may hurt the ones you love, all right, but that doesn't mean we have to love it. And we don't, Rocky. We just don't.

hmullen@sltrib.com