He worries that he is a bully - so much so that when Jodee Blanco, a national expert on bullying, came to speak at his school on Monday morning, he sought her out afterward for a one-on-one session.

"I feel like I'm a little overprotective of my little brother," who's 12 and autistic, Malcolm said Monday night, at the conclusion of Blanco's evening talk to more than 100 people. "[Blanco] told me I was being overprotective because I loved him. But a better way might be to get the principal and parents to talk to kids about autism, to make autism get noticed."

Blanco's journey to the present day is akin to a fairy tale. The ugly duckling at her middle and high schools, she was bullied mercilessly by all the popular kids. They shunned her, told her to go to another school because everyone hated her, swore at her, tackled her and forced snow into her lungs as she gasped for air, and threw glue into her hair. She went on to become one of the top entertainment publicists in the country, regularly rubbing elbows with the likes of Mel Gibson and Jim Carrey.

Then the Columbine massacre occurred. She intuitively knew what drove those two boys to murderously lash out against their peers - because she almost did the same thing, with a butcher knife.

She quit the glam world of Hollywood to focus on her "new celebrities: kids."

Her book, Please Stop Laughing at Me, was published just as the United States attacked Iraq. Still, it burst onto The New York Times best-seller list within 48 hours.

Her message is simple. Bullying is "not just joking around."

Parents and principals need to be vigilant. Blanco urges parents to genuinely listen to their children, to take concrete action to help them make friends - by helping them join an activity they like, for example - and to teach their kids to stand up to bullies. Principals must not merely punish bullies. Instead, they must cultivate compassion. For instance, if bullies abuse animals, have them volunteer in an animal shelter so they see the consequences of that abuse.

"Kids really don't know they're being cruel," she said.

mcronin@sltrib.com