There I was, peacefully munching on my 3-day-old chicken pot pie in the lunchroom when the writer - whom I'm keeping secret for reasons of national security - burst in and began a vulgar tirade.
(Kids, for this next part, parental discretion is advised.)
"Why those %*#@)!*$ executives at ABC!" he bellowed.
I froze, pieces of Costco chicken pie dripping from my mouth.
"Those &%*#!@$ pre-empted 'Desperate %*# Housewives' for four &*!$%?@* weeks!" he complained. "BURN those network executives!" (I'm paraphrasing, of course.)
I was taken aback. This editorial writer is normally a mild-mannered guy who reserves the fire in his belly for when city council members rezone a neighborhood for commercial use.
"Why do they do that? Why do they pull us in with their insidious shows that we love so much and then pre-empt them for weeks on end?" he complained, darting the corner of his tuna sandwich in my face. "Don't they know I'm on a tight schedule?
"I'm going to write a letter! I'm going to sue! Better yet, I'll put the power of this newspaper behind me and write an editorial!" he exclaimed. "No. I know how I can really hurt them - I'll just . . . STOP . . . WATCHING!"
I was so nervous, I thought I was going to choke on a piece of crust.
Stop watching?! How could he pull himself from one of the funniest, most wicked comedy dramas on TV? How could he give up on the intrigue, the sinful storylines . . . Eva Longoria?
Then again, I understand. The fact is, he's just venting the kind of frustration millions have expressed this season as they wait incessantly for the next installment in the torrid lives of the Women of Wisteria Lane.
As it stands now, it's four weeks and counting since they aired a new episode. And we'll just have to keep on waiting - this Sunday night's episode is, gulp, a rerun. The next new episode is scheduled to air March 27.
But if I may throw myself in between those angry peasants with torches and the network executives I love so very much, let me explain why your favorite shows are often pre-empted - sometimes for weeks - before they air a new episode.
There are 35 weeks in the network television schedule from September to May. But on average, there are 22 to 24 episodes produced per season.
"It's just a question of not having enough hours to fill a season," an ABC spokeswoman told me.
Plus, it's tough to make an hourlong show. In TV's yesteryears, they slapped together cardboard sets and filmed the actors with sloppy takes. Today, the production values of most series are the equivalent of mini-movies.
In other words, to make "The West Wing" or "CSI" look that good takes time. Traditionally, it takes seven 18-hour days to make an episode. That means they may have to show a rerun or two to play catch-up.
Consider the alternatives: You could do what Fox did for "24" and just wait until January to start your season so you don't have to pre-empt the run at all (I can just hear the complaints then), or you can do what they do in England and make each season about six episodes long. If that were the case here, the first season of "Desperate Housewives" would already be over.
So to our esteemed editorial writer and the rest of the world: Take a collective breath, chew your tuna sandwich thoroughly, and patiently wait for the next new "Desperate Housewives" on March 27.
And if it doesn't air, I say BURN those network executives.
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Television columnist Vince Horiuchi appears Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. He can be reached at vince@sltrib.com.


