The first two episodes of Fox's thriller "Human Target" take place on a bullet train and an airliner but, unfortunately, that doesn't mean the show moves like lightning.

On the contrary, much of this throwback to the preposterous action series of the 1970s and '80s crawls instead of screams.

This new midseason one-hour drama debuts Sunday night at 7 on KSTU Channel 13, then it will revert to its regular time slot on Wednesdays.

Based on a graphic novel, the series centers on Christopher Chance (Mark Valley of "Boston Legal," "Keene Eddie"), a for-hire security expert who protects clients by becoming the target of whoever is trying to kill them.

In the pilot episode, Chance is hired by the creator of a California bullet train ("Battlestar Galactica's" Tricia Helfer), who believes someone wants to kill her.

With the help of his partner, Winston (Chi McBride), and a brilliant computer expert (Jackie Earle Haley), Chance must track down the assassin while protecting the woman and everyone on the speeding train.

In the second episode, Chance must protect a hacker on an airline flight, even though he doesn't know who the person is, while also trying to find the killer among the passengers.

It's not that "Human Target" is devoid of action scenes -- there are plenty folded into the first two episodes involving crashing trains and an airliner that flies inverted (yeah, right). But the show's pacing is choppy, and the incidents are so unbelievable that it's hard to suspend your disbelief when Chance is "dispatching" bad guy after bad guy.

Worst of all, Chance is a breezy hero who winks in the face of danger rather than sweating through it. He's prone to making jokes and blowing his way through the fight scenes and episodes of peril, which siphons any suspense from the scenes.

And even though the first two installments are supposed to involve grand spectacle because of where they take place (like mini versions of "Die Hard"), the show's production values seem tepid and cheap, like a 1970s action series with cardboard sets and unimaginative lighting.

That's strange, since two of the show's executive producers are action directors, McG ("Charlie's Angels," "Terminator: Salvation") and Simon West ("Con Air," "Tomb Raider"), and the pilot was directed by West.

But "Human Target" looks like a lazy, average-looking action set piece that pales in comparison to much more thrilling shows, such as Fox's "24." This is one target the producers completely missed.

vince@sltrib.com