Carlin really doesn't have anything against the Tour de France winner or the greatest golfer alive. Really. He just doesn't like being told who his heroes are supposed to be.
The 71-year-old contrarian will be at Abravanel Hall tonight to perform. Recently, he called The Salt Lake Tribune to explain why he is, in his words, "just like herpes. I keep coming back."
In the new HBO special, you talk a lot about death and old age. Is it because you just turned 71?
"There has been a lot of that along the way. I talk about being 70 because I was, and 70 is a milestone for me. It's a significant age, so I wanted to throw that in. I had these ideas about being an old f---, which is the way I describe it in the show, and I wanted to do those thoughts. So this was the perfect time to do it. It doesn't mean that I'm starting to look back, or I'm starting to wrap it up, that I'm starting to get wistful or nostalgic. None of that is in there."
Aren't people sensitive about talking about death?
"One of the reasons I like subjects like that - death, old age, the flag, God, all these things - is because people, in general, get nervous about those things."
Do you ever get an audience that disapproves of what you say?
"No, because I always tend to get my people. And individuals in an audience who are put off by some things - maybe they didn't expect what you were going to be doing - when they hear everyone laughing and supporting you, they don't want to stand out as someone who's going to yell something rude or something contrary. They'll just get up quietly and leave."
You're celebrating your 50th year in show business, just like the Osmonds.
"God bless the Osmonds."
How does the 71-year-old George Carlin compare to the 21-year-old George Carlin?
"It's just something you would expect over life, whether you're welding, playing baseball or playing the violin. You're supposed to improve over time. . . . I've always prided myself on using my mind and to have my mind get better, and stronger and more capable at the things I chose to do. I have a good IQ, but I'm not a genius of any kind. I'm just a smart guy who knew how to run his life and found out how to write for himself. And that's what makes me happy."
Have you improved?
"This is a job for a show-off. This is for a kid in sixth grade who learned how to do the fart sounds underneath his armpit louder than anyone else. And who bent his thumb back so it could touch my forearm. That's the stupid s--- I did to show off for the girls and the guys and stand out and gain attention."
What do you watch that makes you laugh?
"I don't watch things to laugh. I laugh along the way. The real question is what makes you laugh. I don't know. . . . I'll tell you my little Mormon joke. There's this Mormon guy who has 17 wives. He tells this guy: 'If I had one more wife, I'd have a golf course.' There you go."
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* DAVID BURGER can be reached at dburger@sltrib.com or 801-257-8620. Send comments to livingeditor@sltrib.com.
$%@#!&*!
GEORGE CARLIN performs tonight at 8 at Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple, Salt Lake City. Tickets are $39 and $42 at www.arttix.org or 355-ARTS.
