See No Evil
Where: Area theaters.
When: Now open.
Rating: R for strong gruesome violence and gore throughout, language, sexual content and some drug use.
Running time: 84 minutes.
Bottom line: This miserable, unimaginative gore-fest is not worth your money, not even to say you've seen one of the worst movies ever made.
In the Thursday night advance screening of "See No Evil," during the long lead-up to the main murder spree, someone in the theater muttered, "Kill somebody, already!" Someone else whispered, "Yeah, me." That pretty much sums up the experience of having to sit through this brainless, bloody waste of film.
It is indescribably awful. Literally - I can't find words to describe just how bad it is, except to say that every single copy of it should be destroyed and everyone involved should not only never be allowed to make another movie but possibly be jailed - and pay restitution to those of us forced to sit through it in order to warn others (many people at the free screening who didn't have to stay did leave).
There's really no point going into the plot, which involves a bunch of miscreant teens getting chased around an old hotel by a non-scary crazed psychopath (pro wrestler Kane) who kills people and pokes their eyes out, because it doesn't make sense anyway. And though it's supposed to be a horror movie, it's never suspenseful or frightening. It is disgusting, derivative, trashy, hyperviolent and totally nonsensical. It's one of those movies where the only fun comes from guessing the order in which people die - and the great thing here is, you don't mind seeing them go when they do.
What little credit it could have earned for being unintentionally funny is overcome by the overflowing gratuitous gore and cringe-inducing sexual content (director Gregory Dark's porn background is evident). Just don't see it. And if you let your kids see it, yes, that does make you a bad parent.
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Contact Christy Karras at ckarras@sltrib.com or 801-257-8604. Send comments about this review to livingeditor@sltrib.com.
