What Utah football player Aaron Lowe’s parents said to the man who killed their son

Donna Lowe-Stern observed the day she’d been dreading most from the far corner of the courtroom — an arm around her shoulder and a fistful of tissues clutched in her hand.

Two and a half years after University of Utah football player Aaron Lowe was shot and killed at a Salt Lake City party, Lowe-Stern glanced up briefly when Buk Mawut Buk, the man who killed her son, shuffled in wearing handcuffs and a white jumpsuit with the word “INMATE” stitched across the back. She fought through tears and gasped as one member of Buk’s family was held in contempt of court for shouting in her family’s direction. She peered through her hands as Aaron Lowe’s father took the stand and addressed Buk directly.

“We all walk with a limp in our soul,” Darwin Lowe said, making eye contact with the 25-year-old. “The night we got the news of Aaron’s life being taken, even though we didn’t know you, we forgave you that very night.”

But when it came Lowe-Stern’s turn to speak at Monday’s sentencing — something she resigned herself to do months ago — she couldn’t find the same forgiveness. She tried, she said, but her heart wouldn’t allow it.

“I’m not his father, not a minister, and I have no forgiveness in my heart right now,” Lowe-Stern said. “I pray to God that this man will stay behind bars for the rest of his God-given life.”

Lowe-Stern only received part of her wish.

Buk was sentenced to at least 18 years in prison, with the possibility of life.

Utah Third District Court Judge Paul Parker administered the maximum penalty for first-degree felony murder and first-degree attempted felony murder.

“This is a terrible act. You simply can’t fix it,” Parker said.

But whether Buk gets out of prison is now in the hands of the Utah Board of Pardons and Paroles.

Buk killed Lowe and shot and injured Fuamoli Pomale outside of a party in September 2021

Buk, Lowe and another man got into an argument outside of a party in Sugar House, according to court documents. Pomale tried to break up the dispute, but Buk crossed the street and started shooting, police said.

Lowe, 21, died at the scene after being shot multiple times. Pomale, then 20 years old, was taken to the hospital in critical condition and survived.

Buk pleaded guilty to first-degree felony murder and first-degree attempted felony murder in March. That was a reduced plea after he was originally charged with aggravated murder, attempted aggravated murder, possession of a firearm by a restricted person and obstruction of justice.

Buk faced the possibility of a death penalty case with the original charges. But prosecutors and Lowe’s mother agreed to take the death penalty off the table.

After Buk pleaded guilty in March, Lowe-Stern told The Salt Lake Tribune that she felt like “she lost.” She said she only agreed to take the death penalty off the table because she thought he’d get life without parole.

“There is a possibility he will be free. He could have a life. My son can’t have a life,” Lowe-Stern told The Tribune in March. “So either way it goes, it will look like he won. It’s like he won, because if he serves for 20 years and becomes free, he’s still a young man. He will still have a chance at a life. My baby [doesn’t] get that chance.”

Before the sentence was handed down, a 30-year-old relative of Buk’s was thrown into jail.

A police officer came over and took her phone as she was recording the hearing. She stood up, yelling obscenities at the officer, and was asked to exit. She asked why she couldn’t record while there were television cameras and reporters in the room. As she screamed, the judge said to “throw her in jail” and she responded by saying, “I’m not fighting you, leave me the f— alone.”

She was ordered to spend 10 days in jail and yelled down the back hallway as police wrestled to put her in handcuffs. “When she started to turn to the [Lowe] family, that is contempt of court,” Parker said. Another member of Buk’s family cried, asking why more of her family had to go to jail.

The court recessed before Lowe’s family spoke. Lowe-Stern only looked to the judge, never back at Buk, as she said, “I knew there could be nothing that bad that night that you had to pull the gun. ... Mr. Buk put a hole in my heart. If I had 10 more children it would not fill.”

Buk issued a brief apology back, saying he was 21 years old and lost.

“I’m sorry to the Aaron Lowe family. I was lost and I didn’t know any better,” he said. “... I pray one day to find it in your heart to forgive me. I can’t imagine the pain and suffering.”

But even Lowe’s father, who forgave him, said it wasn’t enough.

“My forgiveness is not the forgiveness that matters the most,” he finished, still wearing his son’s “22 Forever” football shirt. “Because I hold no power over your soul, God does.”