It's too late for me. I've crossed over to the soccer side. I'm a Group E Groupie.

I'm not sure how this happened. Four years ago, I spent the entire four weeks making fun of people who stayed up all hours of the night, watching the televised games from the Far East.

This year, via no conscious decision of any kind, I care about this thing.

But you don't have to. You can pretend the world's largest, longest sporting event is not even happening.

Consider it a challenge.

It won't be easy, that's for sure. All 64 games will be televised by either ESPN, ESPN2 or ABC. Some of your friends will be staging viewing parties - and unlike the Super Bowl, nobody will be watching just for the sake of the commercials, because the 45-minutes halves will not be interrupted.

At your office, people will be monitoring weekday games on their computers, acting as if this is the NCAA Tournament or something.

But you can stay strong.

You're a traditional American sports fan, and proud of it. To you, Ronaldhino might as well be Ronald McDonald. To you, Rodney Dangerfield and Will Ferrell are the greatest soccer coaches of all time. To you, the NBA Finals are the only world championship that matters this month.

I used to be like you. Maybe I can be pulled back. Maybe not.

Soccer has sucked me in, somehow. I'm guessing it had something to do with the U.S. team's visit to Rice-Eccles Stadium a year ago today. I've always said, any sport played at its highest level is worth watching, and the Americans' victory over Costa Rica in a World Cup qualifying game fit that definition.

Landon Donovan has returned to town occasionally since then with the Los Angeles Galaxy, and Real Salt Lake defender Eddie Pope is among the other Major League Soccer players on the U.S. team, naturally increasing local interest.

The World Cup was certainly a lot easier to overlook when the U.S. team was lousy. What you're fighting against now is the good, old tradition of Americans suddenly caring about something when America starts getting good at it. More people will be paying attention to this tournament now that the U.S. team is ranked in the top five and is coming off a surprisingly strong showing in 2002.

Yet it will be difficult for the Americans to advance out of Group E with the Czech Republic, Italy and Ghana. I know all about these teams now: the Czechs, with their goalkeeper named (Petr) Cech; Italy, the "Azzurris," the three-time World Cup champions who have experienced disappointment since their last victory in 1982; and Ghana, the formerly underachieving Black Stars, making their tournament debut with young talent such as Michael Essien.

It's going to be fun to watch, a fascinating measurement of how far U.S. soccer has come in recent years.

But you can avoid it; I know you can. Here's your game plan:

The Americans' World Cup opener is June 12 - a Monday morning kickoff, Utah time. Even if others around you are following the match vs. the Czech Republic, just focus on filing those TPS reports or whatever, and spend your break time talking about the previous night's NBA Finals game.

The next U.S. game is June 17 against Italy. No problem. That's a Saturday afternoon, and you'll be watching the third round of the U.S. Open. You'll be thinking about Winged Foot, not football.

Then comes the June 22 game with Ghana on another weekday morning. Use the best strategy you learned from the previous week, or try something new.

With any luck, the Americans will be done by then, and that's your excuse. Only the purists will be following the rest of the tournament.

So with some planning, commitment and focus, you can get through the World Cup almost without noticing that it's going on. But don't get overconfident about your ability to keep from becoming interested in this thing.

If it can happen to me, it can happen anybody.

kkragthorpe@sltrib.com