This is an archived article that was published on sltrib.com in 2016, and information in the article may be outdated. It is provided only for personal research purposes and may not be reprinted.
With two weeks of the NFL season in the books, there is one fact known to be definitively true above all others: It is panic time.
After Week 1, you can observe worrying factors, causes for concern and convince yourself to conclude, "It's just one week. You can't tell anything from one week."
Two weeks, however, represent a trend and justification for full-blown hysterics.
The Bills are screwed because they already fired a coach, and it wasn't Rex Ryan. The Vikings are screwed because Adrian Peterson. The Seahawks are screwed because they scored three points — against the Rams. The Jaguars are screwed because they still can't stop anyone. The Browns are screwed because they're already down to their third-string QB … and also because they're the Browns.
If your team is not on this list, keep in mind that lack of panic now does not guarantee lack of panic in the future (says the knowing Eagles fan). But for the time being, just enjoy your exclusion.
Now, onto the Week 3 installment of NFL-on-TV-in-SLC.
Broncos at Bengals, 11 a.m., Ch. 2 • Yes, Andy Dalton leads the NFL with 732 passing yards. That's partly because RBs Jeremy Hill and Giovani Bernard have 95 rushing yards. Combined. As a result, Dalton has already been sacked eight times. And Denver's Von Miller already has four sacks. The lawyer in me says that's probably a bad combination for Cincinnati.
49ers at Seahawks, 2 p.m., Ch. 13 • Remember back when Seattle traded Max Unger for Jimmy Graham and the tight end was supposed to put their offense over the top? Puzzlingly used primarily as an inline blocker this year, he has 53 yards. Meanwhile, one of the criticisms of the Seahawks' offense (which has 15 points through two games) is its lack of consistent O-line play. So maybe Seattle can ask New Orleans for a do-over? When you're facing an opponent QB'd by Blaine Gabbert, and it's your offense getting laughed at, that's a bad sign, right?
Jets at Chiefs, 2:25 p.m., Ch. 2 • Andy Reid is a supposed offensive genius. Last week vs. the Texans, per The Associated Press, K.C. lost three fumbles, went 0 for 2 in the red zone and converted just three third downs. Jets coach Todd Bowles is not regarded as an offensive genius, but QB Ryan Fitzpatrick threw for 374 yards vs. the Bills, and supposedly washed-up RB Matt Forte is second in the NFL with 196 rushing yards. All of which just goes to show that no one knows anything.
Bears at Cowboys, 6:20 p.m., Ch. 5 • Talking heads note that the Bears will be without quarterback Jay Cutler in their bid to avoid an 0-3 start. Meanwhile, talking Bears fans note, "They say that like it's a bad thing." Touché.
Twitter: @esotericwalden