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First down

Raiders at Titans, 11 a.m., Ch. 2 • This is some kind of social experiment, right? A test to determine whether our love of pro football is sufficient to convince us to watch any old game put on before us?

The Raiders have lost three straight and are 4-6. The Titans are 2-8, and have dropped 10 straight at home going back to last season.

I suppose you could argue there's some young talent to pay attention to. Second-year Oakland QB Derek Carr has 21 TDs vs. six picks, and is seventh in the NFL with a 99.4 passer rating. Tennessee's Marcus Mariota's 96.1 rating is 12th in the league, and his 65.3 completion percentage is on track for third-best all-time among rookies. And Raiders WR Amari Cooper leads all rookies with 51 catches and 736 yards.

OK, you got me — I am minimally intrigued. Just one question: Considering the Titans have been outscored by a league-worst 62 points in the fourth period, and the Raiders are 31st at minus-52, what happens in a close game? Which trend wins out: the teams' penchant for allowing tons of fourth-quarter points or their habit of not scoring at all in the final 15 minutes? It's a riddle inside a mystery wrapped in a conundrum. Or something. Minimally intrigued-plus-one now. Well-played, NFL … well-played.

Second down

Vikings at Falcons, 11 a.m., Ch. 13 • The records are better in this one, but do either of these teams intrigue you? Either one have you convinced they're a legit playoff threat?

Atlanta started off 5-0, but has lost three straight (by a combined seven points) and four of five. Devonta Freeman is out with a concussion, Matt Ryan remains decidedly un-clutch, and after committing just two turnovers in their first four games, they've given it up 16 times in their last six.

As for the Vikings, they've got Adrian Peterson and … uh, yeah, some other guys … who are doing … stuff. Did I mention they got worked by the Packers in their last game, and the Packers have not exactly looked stellar recently?

Soooooo … uhhhhh … Hey! I know! That Julio Jones sure is fun to watch, isn't he?!

Third down

Steelers at Seahawks, 2:25 p.m., Ch. 2 • Yes, Russell Wilson and Thomas Rawls looked really good last week. Against the 49ers. Whose nickname no longer reflects a mid-19th century gold rush, but the number of points the team allows every week.

So calm down. The Steelers' defense is slightly better. Pittsburgh is allowing just 19.1 ppg (fifth in the league) and just 93.0 rushing yards per game (also fifth). And as it turns out, their offense is pretty good, too. Their 6.3 yards per play are second in the league behind only Arizona. And DeAngelo Williams is averaging 134.7 yards from scrimmage over the last three games.

So before we go all crazy declaring Seattle fully recovered from its abysmal start and playoff-ready, let's see how they do first against a team that wouldn't finish fifth in the MWC?

Fourth down

Patriots at Broncos, 6:30 p.m., Ch. 5 • I know this ought to be considered one of those intriguing matchups I've been pining away for — 10-0 New England vs. 8-2 Denver, and all — but somehow it's not.

As with most things in Denver this year, it's Peyton Manning's fault.

Somewhat counter-intuitively, even though Tom Brady has come to own Manning in most of their regular-season matchups, and even though Mannning's immobility, injuries, wet-noodle arm, and propensity for turnovers have led to Brock Osweiler's insertion into the lineup and perhaps increased Denver's chances of winning, Manning's absence from this matchup nevertheless detracts from it.

Let's face it — even if we knew how Brady vs. Manning was gonna turn out, we still loved to see it. No one is buying Brady vs. Brock.

Unless, of course, Osweiler beats those dirty, dirty cheaters. In which case, we all knew this would be a great game all along. Totally looking forward to it, super-psyched about it. Yeah — that sounds about right.

Twitter: @esotericwalden