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Seconds before the biggest moment of his career, Brad Pearce stood in a room with a small door that led out to one of sports' most hallowed grounds, listening to the strict protocol he was supposed to follow en route.

The Royals will be in the Royal Box and you must stop and turn and bow and blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah …

He heard nothing. Not a word.

As one of 37 Americans in the Open era to reach the quarterfinals at Wimbledon, the kid from Provo was nervous as hell. He intended to win, but all the pomp was beyond him. The world's No. 1 player, Ivan Lendl, stood next to him as they were about to walk out on Centre Court. Lendl knew enough about Pearce to recognize he was a threat to him and his quest to win the one Grand Slam tournament that had eluded him.

But before the two men went to battle, ducking through the doorway, under which the famous Rudyard Kipling lines from his poem "If" are scripted overhead — "If you can meet with triumph and disaster and treat those two imposters just the same," and such — the accomplished Lendl, sensing Pearce's predicament, turned to him and said: "Just do what I do and you'll be OK."

"I was so grateful to him for that," Pearce says. "I was nervous and tight and thinking about the match. Nothing registered with me. But I didn't want to mess this up. I didn't want to make a fool of myself on Centre Court in front of the Royal Box. I'm forever grateful to Ivan for his gesture."

That anecdote is in Lesson 17 — fittingly enough, titled "If" — of Pearce's new book, "Life Lessons from Centre Court at Wimbledon — Teaching Your Children To Become the Best They Can Be."

The book is written for parents who are looking to give their kids guidance on how best to set and achieve their own goals, whether it be in tennis, in sports, in education, in the arts, in careers, in life. Pearce presents in 30 life lessons, gleaned from his tennis career, as a playing professional and as a teaching pro and as a coach, and from his experiences as the father of six children, information he says he wishes he had known before he commenced his journey years ago.

That 17th lesson, taken from Wimbledon on July 4, 1990, in Pearce's own words, is this: "I've experienced some triumphs along the way and a lot of losses. You've got to take the bad with the good through life, and endure to the end. Pick yourself up when you lose and keep striving. Kids' lifelong dreams may or may not be realized, but if they work hard and enjoy the ride, they figure out what life is really all about."

The first lesson in the book is about dreaming big. Pearce's dream, from boyhood on, was to win Wimbledon. He swallowed that vision whole, growing up in Provo, playing in junior tournaments, playing at UCLA, turning pro after his sophomore year in 1986, and reaching a Top 70 world ranking in a 10-year career. Along the way, he beat players such as Boris Becker, Pete Sampras, Pat Cash and Jim Courier. He traveled the world, stayed in the best hotels, met renowned people and won two handfuls of pro tournaments.

But his best showing at Wimbledon ended against Lendl that day in a four-set defeat. And he had to learn to live with that. He says if he knew then what he knows now, he might have achieved more. Thus, the 30 lessons for everyone else, whatever their aspirations are.

"I had a box that didn't get checked," he says. "But if you set real goals and align yourself to realistically achieve them, and you work to achieve them, and then you don't … oh well, you achieve a whole lot more than you would have otherwise."

It's the old better-to-aim-for-the-stars-and-land-in-the-trees-than-to-aim-for-the-trees-and-land-in-the-mud thing.

The thrust of Pearce's book centers on the aforementioned goal alignment.

He suggests that parents sit down with their children and talk with them about what they, the kids themselves, want to achieve in whatever pursuit is important to them, be it hitting the 3-point shot, hitting a 4.0 grade-point average or hitting the high notes in vocal training. He says children should set the goals. Not the goals the parents want them to set, rather the specific things they want to achieve, and then the parents help align the kids' behavior to meet the standard set.

"Parents become 'alignment specialists,'" he says. "It's so important that kids take ownership of their goals. Sometimes, when they aren't doing the things necessary to achieve their goals, that's when parents can step in and hold them accountable and say, 'These are your goals. I'm your friend. I'm here to help. This is about your life, not mine.' That changes the dynamic. It changes what can be conflict. It isn't easy. When you're working with teenagers, you're going to get pushback. That's when you remind them, 'These are your goals, right?' If they don't want to do what's needed, then you sit down and either change the goal and make it more realistic or recommit to changing behaviors and actions on a daily, weekly, monthly basis."

Pearce, who now is the men's tennis coach at BYU, teaches the alignment principle at his summer camps and has utilized it with his children. He repeats and reiterates to them, "Don't tell me what you think I want to hear. This is your life. This is your future."

"As parents," he says, "we have to remember that. It's about them, not us."

Pearce compares that transformation to moving from the driver's seat to the passenger seat: "It's not easy. You have your challenges. But once you're there, you can enjoy the ride. It's really satisfying."

GORDON MONSON hosts "The Big Show" with Spence Checketts weekdays from 3-7 p.m. on 97.5 FM and 1280 AM The Zone. Twitter: @GordonMonson. —

About the book

"Life Lessons From Centre Court," published by Cedar Fort, is available now in bookstores and online. A portion of the proceeds will go to the Utah Tennis Foundation.