Reader comments on sltrib.com are the opinions of the writer, not The Salt Lake Tribune. We will delete comments containing obscenities, personal attacks and inappropriate or offensive remarks. Flagrant or repeat violators will be banned. If you see an objectionable comment, please alert us by clicking the arrow on the upper right side of the comment and selecting "Flag comment as inappropriate". If you've recently registered with Disqus or aren't seeing your comments immediately, you may need to verify your email address. To do so, visit disqus.com/account.
See more about comments here.
No photos: Parents opt to keep babies off Facebook
New York • Behold the cascade of baby photos, the flood of funny kid anecdotes and the steady stream of school milestones on Facebook.
It all makes Sonia Rao, a stay-at-home mother of a 1-year-old in Mountain View, California, "a little uncomfortable."
"I just have a vague discomfort having her photograph out there for anyone to look at," says Rao. "When you meet a new person and go to their account, you can look them up, look at photos, videos, know that they are traveling."
At a time when just about everyone and their mother — father, grandmother and aunt — is intent on publicizing the newest generation's early years on social media sites, an increasing number of parents like Rao are bucking the trend by consciously keeping their children's photos, names and entire identities off the Internet.
Reasons for the baby blackout vary. Some parents have privacy and safety concerns. Others worry about what companies might do with their child's image and personal data. Some simply do it out of respect for their kids' autonomy before they are old enough to make decisions for themselves.
"I have a no tolerance policy," says Scott Steinberg, a St. Louis-based business and technology consultant who has more than 4,800 Facebook friends. Steinberg says he shares no photos, videos or any information about his child.
"If I don't want somebody to know about my child, to take an active interest in them, to recognize them in a city street or as they are leaving the schoolyard, the easiest way to do that is to not have any identifying information out about them," he says.
As for Rao, she says she is otherwise active on Facebook, and even had an Instagram account for her dog before the baby was born. She's happy posting photos of the canine, but not the many snapshots of her daughter and the dog together —no matter how cute they are. Rao does share baby pictures, via email or text, but only with close friends and family.
Facebook, for its part, encourages parents to use the site's privacy setting if they want to limit who can see their baby photos and other posts. It's possible, for example, to create a group of close friends and relatives to share kid updates with. But that's not enough for some users.
New parents Josh Furman and his wife, Alisha Klapholz, are "very protective" of their newborn. The Silver Spring, Maryland couple believes it's in their daughter's best interest to limit her Internet presence for as long as possible. As such, they haven't posted her legal name on Facebook and don't post photos of her on the site. Instead, they share her Hebrew name and also came up with a nickname to use just on Facebook. They ask friends and family to do the same.
"In 2014 we sort of feel like the repercussions of sharing private data are totally unpredictable," says Furman, a doctoral candidate in history at the University of Maryland.
Like his wife, Furman is very active on Facebook. Even so, he says "our child isn't capable of making decisions about what details of her life she'd like to share or not." So they are waiting until she can.
A big reason parents are wary, even if they use social media sites themselves, is that the companies "have not been very transparent about the way they collect data about users," says Caroline Knorr, parenting editor at the nonprofit Common Sense Media, which studies children's use of technology. "Facebook's terms of service and privacy (policies) — no one reads it, it's too obscure."
Some parents look back to their own childhoods, when they were able to make mistakes without evidence of those blunders living on —forever— online.
"I had the choice of what I wanted to reveal publicly," says Wasim Ahmad, journalism professor at Stonybrook University and father of a newborn son. "I'd like to, as much as I can, retain the possibility of choice for him."
Two days after his son was born, Ahmad bought the website domain with his son's name.
"I'm going to make it a private website with a password so family can log in" to see updates, he says. "When he gets old enough, I'll probably give him the keys."
The parents hasten to make clear that they have no problems with other people who post their own baby photos.