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Eric Walden's NFL Four Downs: Tacos for geniuses banished by Ohio

Published September 21, 2013 9:09 pm

This is an archived article that was published on sltrib.com in 2013, and information in the article may be outdated. It is provided only for personal research purposes and may not be reprinted.

First down

Houston at Baltimore, 11 a.m., Ch. 2 • A usually entertaining running back battle is likely to be less so Sunday, with the Ravens' Ray Rice doubtful to play. The Texans' Arian Foster, at least, is working hard to keep the entertainment quota up, revealing that whilst at the University of Tennessee, he was paid in cash by "side people" and paid in tacos by an assistant coach. Now that he's a pro, "touchdowns for tacos" sounds like an endorsement deal waiting to happen.

Second down

Green Bay at Cincinnati, 11 a.m., Ch. 13 • A much-anticipated showdown between the prolific Packers and the burgeoning Bengals has been relegated to the back burner amidst the breaking news that the hyper-masculine fans of Cincinnati are averse to pop tart Katy Perry's song "Roar" being played at Paul Brown Stadium. Here's a tip for you, Cincy: There's no such thing as too much Katy Perry.

Third down

Indianapolis at San Francisco, 2:25 p.m., Ch. 2 • While the reunion of Stanfordians Andrew Luck and Jim Harbaugh merits attention, more focus should be fixated upon the oxymoronicness of new Colts running back Trent Richardson's "exile" from Cleveland. Though some will argue the trade indicates a downturn in Richardson's brief career, the obvious upside is no one has ever complained about a chance to leave Cleveland early.

Fourth down

Chicago at Pittsburgh, 6:30 p.m., Ch. 5 • The Bears are 2-0, but we've seen them start fast before, only to fade in the season's second half. So what will be different this time? Tight end Martellus Bennett posits it's new coach Marc Trestman being a "genius" like "Willy Wonka," specifically the version played by Gene Wilder and not Johnny Depp. And frankly, I'm too confused by the analogy to argue.