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NASCAR, seeing a great chance to boost TV ratings, called each player immediately. Not to ask them to drive, just to be there for the weekly post-race fist fight. NASCAR said it needs new people, because Tony Stewart is getting tired.
The Golf Channel was agog. Its audience share soared to .00107. Frank Nobilo said that the combatants didn’t have to like each other, but they did "respect" each other. That ever-feisty contrarian, Brandel Chamblee, fired back, "Are you sure?"
Ooooooooh. Fighting words.
Tiger and Sergio didn’t get to play together Sunday for the Grand Showdown. Yes, this matchup deserved capital letters. The rules of the draw paired them with other players. Before the round, Sergio said that was probably better, confirming the obvious, that the two really don’t like each other.
To know that, he said, "You don’t need to be a rocket engineer."
Nor would you need to be a rocket scientist to expect that, one of these times, the (golf) gloves will come off.
Tiger got a unanimous decision in this first fight by winning the tournament. Sergio stayed on his stool for the last two rounds. After his two tee shots found the water on No. 17, he needed a cut man more than a caddie.
Sergio fans should not despair, however. Word is that he will be ready next time, maybe even on a stage as big as next month’s U.S. Open in Pennsylvania. He’ll be doing some road work, hitting the heavy bag, studying films of Ali’s rope-a-dope.
Also, he may replace his regular caddie with the legendary Ms. Harding, who will help him load his bag before each round with 13 golf clubs and a tire iron.
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