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It's a provocative question that has no real answer - at least not one that is certifiable. Maybe the only thing here that is certifiable is the madman crazy enough to pose it, but the madman asks, still:

Who is the best coach in the state of Utah?

Any level, anywhere.

Is it a big name - Bronco or Kyle or Stew or Dave or Tyrone - or is it A Man Named Shoe?

Subjectivity suffocates every bit of the question, especially the word "best." But we'll take the connotation for that straight out of Webster's, and hash ahead from there: Best: 1: excelling all others, 2: most productive of good or of advantage, utility, or satisfaction.

Many people who follow sports define the best coach as the one who flat-out wins the most, mixed in with a few assorted secondary attributes such as teaching discipline, blah-blah, showing leadership, blah-blah-blah, developing character in athletes, blah-blah-blah-blah, representing the community, blah-blah-blah-blah-blah.

Also, there's the opaque fudge quotient, factored in by way of a sport's prominence. For all we know, the world's best badminton coach works his wonders in Utah, but who gives a flying Favre?

This is getting cloudier, not clearer. We forge on.

Twelve nominations for the state of Utah's best coach:

Bronco Mendenhall, BYU footballMendenhall's overall record in six years at Provo is 56-21. He's won two league championships, four postseason games, and, prior to last year's slip to 7-6, the Cougars had four straight 10-win seasons. He took over a sagging endeavor that had suffered through three losing seasons and had serious issues off the field. It was a program that had lost not just its winning touch, but also its way.

Although every college head football coach is busy filling the demands of what, in effect, is the CEO of a moderate-sized company, handling executive-level business, working with administrators and compliance personnel, keeping boosters happy but off his players, putting schedules in place, managing a staff, overseeing recruiting, advising players and doling out discipline, checking on academic progress of athletes, meeting with media, and maybe even, on a good day, actually coaching some football, at BYU those demands extend into ecclesiastical matters, including speaking engagements at firesides, making sure the school's honor code is followed by 100 athletes, and always sounding measured and profound, speaking in hushed biblical tones. It's hard to argue that Mendenhall hasn't handled most of that - and that being more than most - exceptionally well.

Kyle Whittingham, Utah football

Whittingham is 57-20 overall heading into his seventh year, with a string of three straight 10-win seasons, and one league title. He's won five of six bowl games, including the 2009 Sugar Bowl. (As co-head coach, in Urban Meyer's last game, the Utes won the Fiesta Bowl, but that was a technicality.) The Sugar Bowl victory finished off a 13-0 record that helped Utah to the No. 2 slot in the final AP poll. Whittingham had the advantage of taking over an ascending program, initially built on the backs of previous head coaches Ron McBride and Meyer, under whom he worked as defensive coordinator.

Without Whittingham's continued success, it's easy to doubt whether Utah would have been invited into the Pac-12, although Colorado got in with a bad trend. Whittingham had some difficulties early in his tenure, but he matured and learned from mistakes and has grown into a terrific coach. He sits now on the precipice of an opportunity at Utah in the Pac-12 of which he once only could have dreamed. Final note: He was named the 2008 National Coach of the Year by the American Football Coaches Association.

Norm Chow, Utah offensive coordinator

He's not a head coach, but Chow's work is impossible to ignore. Over a 40-year career during which he has masterminded prolific offenses at the top levels of college football and developed quarterbacks such as Jim McMahon, Steve Young, Ty Detmer, Philip Rivers, Carson Palmer, and Matt Leinart, the Ute O.C. is one of the most respected minds in the game. He's had some bumpy runs - with the Tennessee Titans and at UCLA - but remains an eminent coaching force.

Jason Kreis, Real Salt Lake

It's not so much Kreis' overall record (63-52-47) in his five seasons that is notable, it's that he, as the youngest coach in Major League Soccer, not only elevated an otherwise struggling club to the MLS title in 2009, but also transformed it to a whole new level of consistent performance and expectation. RSL is 31-14-22 since winning the league Cup, which was the state's first major-league professional championship in nearly 40 years. And Kreis darn near qualified the team for the Club World Cup in Japan this year, falling just one game short.

Stew Morrill, Utah State basketballMorrill is 294-99 in 12 seasons at Logan, 512-237 overall as a head coach. He's taken the Ags to 11 straight seasons of at least 23 wins and to the NCAA Tournament seven times. No coach at USU has ever come close to that kind of consistent success. Through that 11-year run, Utah State is one of just three teams in the country to have won at least 23 games each season, the others being Kansas and Gonzaga. He's won six regular-season league championships and five league tournament titles. He ranks 19th in the country among active coaches in career wins.

Dave Rose, BYU basketballRose is 159-45 in six seasons, a stunning .779 winning percentage. His teams have hauled four regular-season league titles and compiled five straight seasons of 25-plus wins, all of which ended in trips to the NCAA Tournament, including one tournament win in 2009-10 and two this past postseason, guiding BYU to the Sweet 16 for the first time since 1981. Rose also oversaw the rising profile of the Cougars through the 2010-11 season when they became one of the nation's best-known college teams with the best-known player, Jimmer Fredette.

Greg Marsden, Utah gymnasticsMarsden is 957-180-6 in his 36 years with the Utes. Megan Marsden, the program's co-head coach, had been an assistant for 25 years until moving up two seasons back. Greg Marsden created the women's gymnastics program at Utah, and its legacy, winning nine NCAA titles and making the Utes the only program to qualify to compete in all 30 NCAA championships. Marsden led the Utes to being a competitive mainstay, and they are a commercial success. In 2010, they averaged 14,213 fans at home meets.

Patrick Shane, BYU women's cross-countryShane's teams have won four national championships in his 30 years, with 60 runners having earned more than 150 All-America citations. He has coached six Olympians.

Elaine Elliott, Westminster assistant women's basketball coach and former Utah head coachShe ran up a record of 582-234 over 27 seasons with the Utes, leading them to the NCAA Tournament 15 times and winning 11 regular-season conference titles. Elliott endured just one losing season.

Dave Peck, Bingham High School footballPeck is 134-63 overall as a head coach, but his recent work at Bingham is what lifts his status, including a six-year span in which his teams have gone 73-7 and won three state titles.

Shoe Nelson, Spanish Fork High School baseballNelson, in 31 years at Spanish Fork, has a record of 488-161 and has won a fistful of state titles, now including three straight. He was this season named by the American Baseball Coaches' Association the national coach of the year for a midsize school.

Larry Gelwix, Highland High School rugbyGelwix's teams, over a prep coaching career spanning more than three decades, have won more than 400 games, including 19 USA Rugby national titles. He's the only coach on this list who has had a feature film made about him and his team. Although, nominating him here is a bit like nominating Jerry Sloan, considering Gelwix recently retired.By the way, had Sloan still been coaching, this would have been an even tougher call. And there are a lot of other great coaches out there not mentioned here.

But, as is, the best is ...

Hold onto your shorts ...

Keep your composure ...

Don't freak out ...

Whittingham.

He yet lacks the longevity of some, which means he could quickly fall from the pinnacle if he screws up in the face of his new challenge, but no coach listed here, other than Mendenhall, has operated under a brighter local light, and absolutely no coach in Utah has brought his team more national attention, particularly since football throws more heft locally and nationally than basketball or any other sport. The keystone, of course, is that remarkable 2008 season. And no coach has done more for his team, although strong arguments can be made for Rose and, especially, for Kreis.

Relax, breathe deep. It's just one man's opinion. A madman's, at that.