Brian Pilati was in a dating rut.

The software engineer works full time, and spends 20 to 30 hours each week at Brigham Young University in the executive MBA program. He and his wife, Ember, have regular baby sitters for their four children, but still found themselves doing the same old things.

"You end up either at a movie or Walmart," Pilati said. "You're not building the relationship."

But during a group project in an entrepreneur class, Pilati realized he was not alone. Assigned to create a business, Pilati and group mate Blake Cecil decided to design more meaningful dates for their wives, while helping other couples do the same.

"We really had a passion for solving the date night issue," said Cecil, a procurement analyst at Pyno Nobel and father of four. Both men hope to someday grow the business into full-time employment.

Their creation, See You at Seven, works like a date planner for couples, suggesting new activities designed to build trust and stimulate meaningful conversation and connection.

After joining the free service, couples are given one suggested date each month. Activities vary from sporting events such as Utah Jazz and Real Salt Lake games, to cultural activities such as plays, the ballet or symphony, or even game nights.

Couples purchase tickets through the See You at Seven website and often receive a small discount and have convenience fees waived. Tickets can be shipped to customers' homes or wait for them at the event.

"There's a lot of things to do every night," Pilati said. "We want to send you to the one where you will have the best experience."

The dating dilemma is a common one, said Mark Burton, a Salt Lake City psychologist specializing in relationship therapy. Most couples manage to plan something for special occasions like Valentine's Day, but once or twice a year is not enough.

Burton recommends couples date at least once a week if possible. Dates don't have to be elaborate, but should encourage dialogue and meaningful time together. He suggests making a list of dating activities during a weekend breakfast when you have time to brainstorm, so when you find time for a date, you already have ideas.

"Marriages or committed relationships take focus," Burton said. "They don't take care of themselves."

Social worker Julie Hanks, of Salt Lake City, finds many of the couples she works with tend to put dating off to deal with more urgent matters, believing they can always go another time. Spontaneity may sound fun, but Hanks suggests couples create a dating routine to ensure they find time to be together.

"You fell in love because you spent alone time together, gazing into each other's eyes and doing things that were fun and exciting," Hanks said. "It's easy to let that slide once you seal the deal."

It's a problem Susan Glenn had in her first marriage, and vowed not to repeat when she remarried.

Glenn is the founder of Date Night for 2 and plans catered dating events like masquerade balls and game nights. Each event is built around her five elements of a good date — conversation, doing something fun that makes you laugh, trying something new, teamwork and some aspect of physical closeness.

"It's so easy to fall out of love, and it does take effort and that constant endeavor," Glenn said. "It's a vital key to your future happiness."

Cecil and Pilati like the Date Night for 2 formula, and are featuring one of Glenn's events in their Valentine's Day packages. They hope to expand in the future, adding things like dining reservations and "emergency" dates for forgotten anniversaries or nights with an unexpected baby sitter. The two have done extensive market research, and just completed testing with a test group that suggested new events and helped refine the process.

Barb Mills had more meaningful dates with her husband Josh as part of the test group. The couple, busy with their three daughters and Josh's schedule as part-time mayor of Herriman, struggle to find time for dates, she said. When there is time, the Millses often end up at the movie theater.

Since joining the service, the Mills have seen "Hamlet" at Pioneer Theater, cheered and high-fived the Jazz, and enjoyed "A Christmas Carol" at Hale Centre Theatre, Barb's favorite. Trying new things has given them more to talk about, Barb said, and the experience was stress-free because all they had to do was just show up.

"It's the effort of making that commitment to go on your own" that is so difficult, Mills said. "That's what made it so great through them."

Cecil and Pilati are glad to hear their service has helped other couples, but consider themselves the biggest beneficiaries. Both use the service to arrange dates for themselves, and planned to take their long-suffering spouses out for extra-special Valentine's Day events this weekend.

kdrake@sltrib.com —

It's a date

See You at Seven, a dating service for busy couples, features a new date activity each month. Couples receive a discount on tickets, and the founders hope to add other amenities like restaurant reservations and hotel stays soon. To sign up, visit www.seeyouatseven.com.

Date Night for 2's next event is dinner and interactive games on March 18. For details and tickets, visit www.datenightfor2.com.