Currently, rodeo event organizers must advertise and offer compensation to obtain baby animals and household pets to participate in scrambles. They risk damaging valuable porcine assets in the pig-chase-barrel-stuffing event. This is unnecessarily costly. A simple and elegant solution is to utilize our surplus of homeless humans as rodeo stock.
Instead of scrambling for a mere chick, bunny or puppy, farm kids could trample and kick their own little house servant into submission. The formerly homeless child would be raised on the farm, with chores to do. It would go to church regularly. This is, after all, it’s only hope of becoming a real ‘M’rkin.
Homeless adults, of course, are beyond help. The barrel-stuffing event is a perfect symbolic representation of what society would like to do with those loser druggies. While homeless humans are useless for skilled events like roping or barrel racing, they are ideal for intermission melees to the death.
Most importantly, using human rodeo stock shouts, "I am not a liberal," whereas taking pride in animal abuse merely whispers. I know everyone in Utah wants to send that message loud and clear.
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