Quantcast

Aussie malarkey

Published January 19, 2013 1:01 am

This is an archived article that was published on sltrib.com in 2013, and information in the article may be outdated. It is provided only for personal research purposes and may not be reprinted.

Smart people can put two and two together. For example, the National Rifle Association now links violent movies to gun deaths.

Therefore, I feel perfectly confident in assuming that the reason gun deaths have declined so dramatically in Australia since 1996 is that Australia must have banned violent movies. In fact, I suspect all you can see there is Disney stuff, musicals and documentaries on crocodiles.

But wait. I'm being tapped on the shoulder. Someone just spoke my given name followed a bit too closely by the word "idiot."

I'm being told that Aussies watch the same movies as Americans and that the real reason gun-related deaths have fallen dramatically in Australia since 1996 is that Australia banned assault rifles, implemented other gun controls and undertook a gun buyback.

I'm also being told rather sternly that the gun homicide rate in Australia is about 1/30th that of the United States' gun homicide rate.

Well, I'm not falling for that liberal malarkey. I'll bet the real reason gun violence is low in Australia is that Aussies avoid booze.

Oh, no! I'm being tapped on the shoulder again.

Steve Warren

West Valley City