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Dream Heads '13

Published January 1, 2013 1:01 am

This is an archived article that was published on sltrib.com in 2013, and information in the article may be outdated. It is provided only for personal research purposes and may not be reprinted.

Dear readers:

Here is the 11th collection of Salt Lake Tribune Dream Headlines. To compile this annual list, we asked readers to suggest headlines that they would like to see in the coming year. Some contain hope. Others humor. A few, cynicism. As always, it was that kind of year.

We hope you enjoy them as much as we did. Our thanks to all who offered their ideas.

Happy New Year!

— The Salt Lake Tribune Editorial Board

Orrin Hatch relocates backbone, declares DREAM Act a no-brainer

— Cliff Randle

NRA's LaPierre remains in mental hospital as a danger to himself and others.

— Brent Baranko

Salt Lake City mayor and council scrap new parking meters for new street lights

— David Bartlett

Tribune 'accidentally' hires first conservative, readership skyrockets

— Andrew Turner

Governor suggests vasectomy initiative to address classroom size challenge

— Joe Andrade

Utah school funding ranked 49th nationally

— Scott Butters

Rep. Oda shoots own reflection, is injured by flying glass

— Howard Parker

State tax credit limited to 12 children

— Bill Adams

Aliens invade, disgusted by price of milk

— Mr. Handy's 7th grade English class, South Davis Junior High

Gun control advocates commit to eliminate all violent video games and movies

— Norman Bryce

Rep. Jim Matheson finally joins GOP

— Aaron Rugg

Eagle Forum banned from State Capitol

— L.C. Magee

Tony Soprano supports assault weapons ban

— Dave Teal

Robert Kirby called to be general authority

— Paul S. Carpenter

Norquist caught driving on public road

— Tim Wagner

Sen. Lee: 'I finally get it'

— Richard Jaffe

Elders recommend hot pants

— Steven M. Scott

Rapture 'takes' the righteous, Congress left behind

— Susanne Reeves

Obama diverts killer asteroid, Hatch calls it 'cheap political stunt'

— Thomas Krug

NRA says: Armed guards for every citizen

— Suzanne Tronier

Utah third state to legalize marijuana

— David M. Jolley

Tribune apologizes for Obama endorsement

— Joel Frandsen

NRA collapses as hundreds of thousands resign

— Kathryn Fitzgerald

Herbert converts to global warming after a/c breaks down

— Mike Duncan

Supreme Court awakens: Corporations are not people

— Tim Reno

Scalia rereads 2nd Amendment, understands it

— Aharon Shulimson

Obama resigns; Obamacare reversed

— Joshua Harrison

President signs assault weapons ban

— Jim Schnitter

NRA prez ordered to attend victims' funerals

— Susan L. Loffler

Teachers and students unharmed; gunman in custody

— Kim Thalmann

Utah liquor stores pay living wage

— William Littig

Newspapers stop calling smog 'haze'

— Fred Brady

Jazz sweep Lakers out of playoffs

— Lynn Westberg

Herbert vows to keep hands off public lands

— Bill Adams

Legislature stops micromanaging Utah cities

— Pete Trebesch

Salt Lake Tribune again becomes independent voice

— Kenneth Bond

Refinery emissions force Utah capitol building closure

— David Angell

Massive earthquake straightens walls of new Public Safety Building

— Willy Bautner

Gov. Herbert slips on tar sands; requires treatment from Obamacare

— David S. Folland

Sutherland Institute says religion bad for mental health

— Bill Revene

Utah Legislature endorses Obamacare

— Thomas Day

Utah's Zion Curtain comes down for liquor, goes up for guns

— Paul McGill

LDS Church denounces NRA

— Ben Watts

Vegas drops pipeline plan, will live within means

— Steve Erickson

Pope and LDS Prophet agree: Women to be ordained

— Christina Gringeri

Mike Lee quits Senate to join UN as advocate for the disabled

— Tina Waite

Romney to head National Humane Society

— Paul S. Carpenter

Hatch resigns office; says he's too old

— Stan Jacobson

Utah bans pesticides; bees return

— Elva Jensen

Texas secedes; National test scores skyrocket

— Mike Ptaschinski

Utah tops nation in student spending

— Kenneth Maddocks

EnergySolutions announces move to China

— Archie Phillips

Off roaders warned; crazed desert turtles may attack

— Dan Larkin