Get breaking news alerts via email

Click here to manage your alerts
Petri: Mercury has ice! Does Venus have gin?
This is an archived article that was published on sltrib.com in 2012, and information in the article may be outdated. It is provided only for personal research purposes and may not be reprinted.

NASA announced Thursday afternoon that, after careful study, they had concluded that the substance in the polar regions of Mercury was water ice.

Mercury has ice, and we should come over. It has tons of ice, in fact. Enough ice, Gizmodo says, "to cover the capital of the United States." That's an idea I think we can get behind!

Nothing good comes out of here anyway, except hot air, tangles of regulation and failures to reform the filibuster.

The hot air might cause the ice some problems, but if it can survive on the dark side of Mercury, much closer to big, gassy sources of as much heat as light, it can probably cope.

NASA noted that there was "no other compound" the discovery could be besides ice. And it might even contain the same rich soup of organic substances that led to human existence, probably brought by the same comet collisions!

Sure, the Mars Discovery still has yet to turn up any Radical New Signs of Life to write home about.

But hey, Mercury has ice! This is exactly what Mercury would be expected to bring to the potluck.

It can throw a small, staid party now, assuming someone else brings the whiskey.

Maybe Venus has vermouth or gin, and we can really turn this into something.

Article Tools

 Print Friendly
  • Search Obituaries
  • Place an Obituary

  • Search Cars
  • Search Homes
  • Search Jobs
  • Search Marketplace
  • Search Legal Notices

  • Other Services
  • Advertise With Us
  • Subscribe to the Newspaper
  • Access your e-Edition
  • Frequently Asked Questions
  • Contact a newsroom staff member
  • Access the Trib Archives
  • Privacy Policy
  • Missing your paper? Need to place your paper on vacation hold? For this and any other subscription related needs, click here or call 801.204.6100.