Fellow Millcreekians, listen up! The Centers for Disease Control has recently identified an insidious infection creeping across Salt Lake County "cityitus," and there is but one antidote: Vote "No" on Millcreek incorporation.
I am a recovering bureaucrat. I've been a federal bureaucrat, a state bureaucrat, a local bureaucrat. I know bureaucrats.
While otherwise decent mothers and fathers, sons and daughters, aunts and uncles, bureaucrats are all endowed by their creator with an insatiable appetite for other people's money. They can't help it. It's a genetic defect.
They can't be allowed to gain a foothold in Millcreek Township; otherwise, millions of little yellow, marble-sized, PacMan-looking bureaucrats will flood our neighborhoods, chomping away at our wallets, purses and savings accounts: $200,000 for a mayor (chomp, chomp); millions for mayoral underlings (chomp, chomp); a city hall for all these functionaries to sit and practice their money-grubbing rituals (chomp, chomp); a fleet of Chevy Volts to cruise our neighborhoods, searching our backyards for buried treasure (chomp, chomp).
Stop them now! Vote "No" on Nov. 6. Vote "hell no!"
Chomp, chomp. Chomp, chomp.